Friends

"She just hasn't figured out yet she made friends with a rattlesnake." Garret spoke before thinking. His mind continued to mull over Nate's words though as his eyes remained glued to the ceiling. Why did Nate want to be his friend? What was the point? Friendships made people weak. Friendships just caused pain. Without hardly realizing it, he'd opened his mouth to talk. Maybe it was simply because he was too tired right not to fight it. 

"Aside from Victoria, I only ever had one person I'd call a friend," he recalled softly. "We were young teens being trained in the Agency, and...they executed him." It was the first time he'd said that out loud, and it hurt a lot more than he anticipated, leaving him quiet again for several long moments. "He'd tried to escape and they caught him. I learned two things that day. One, making friends is pointless. And two, you can't ever escape. At...fourteen...I decided never to make a friend again. So I didn't." 

If Maggie hadn't been sound asleep under his arm, he would have gotten up to physically escape the room. But as it was, he couldn't move. In spite of trying to hide his discomfort, his jaw muscles visibly worked on his tension. "I told you once before I didn't come here to make friends...and I don't know why you insist on trying to make that happen. I'm only here because making allies is good business when you're trying to stay alive." If that were true, why did he have Maggie tucked in close beside him? He wasn't even making sense to himself anymore. Was he going mad? 

"As far as using the computer earlier..." He bit his tongue as once again he hadn't intended on responding, but it was too late now. "Forget it. I won't do it again without permission. I was just trying something that failed and I was upset with myself, not you." There. Close enough. Sort of. Maybe it would at least get Nate to shut up about it. He didn't want to admit what had really happened inside of him earlier today. 

A rattling pan from the kitchen where Laura was washing dishes made him jump slightly, also making him realize he'd just allowed his eyes to close. Why was he so tired? He wasn't being careful, and that was not smart at all. He just felt so lethargic, that it was hard to concentrate and he feared he might talk too much...reveal too much about himself. Nate might be ready for that, but he was not.



Kirk's eyes widened. "I thought we agreed never to speak of that again!" He slapped a hand to his forehead. "I will never forget the look on Barnes' face when we walked in, sleep-deprived and way-over caffeinated because you thought that would be a good way to stay awake for that trial. I was so strung out by the afternoon, you had to help me up these stairs so I could actually go to bed." 

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the last slice of pizza to finish it off. "You really wanna do this? Tonight? If you do, start picking up this mess in alphabetical order and we're going to go through each one, one at a time, write up their personal report and move on to the next until they're all done. Then I'll have to develop my final, overall report." 

Standing up, a pepperoni slid off his pizza and he caught it mid-air, followed by a silly grin. "I still go it."