Turning the opposite direction, he leaves Katie without another word, and heads out of the office. He was done here. Maybe forever. But at least for the day.
Scott hesitated, but finally accepted the offer and sat in the empty chair. He pulled his feet up and tucked his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs. His eyes stared at the floor. "I don't know what I feel," he admitted. "I don't...I mean...part of me is glad. But...but that's not right...and it doesn't...it doesn't feel good. And...part of me is sad..." His thoughts were all starting to collide, making it hard to think.
"I saw others...executed, I mean. When...when I was...there." The images flashed in his mind, making him physically flinch at the horrific memories. He'd seen more than one person die, killed in front of him just to gauge his reaction and create terror. He swallowed hard. "It was the same. Alec. Today...just like before. I want...I want them all dead... the Agency. And he was one...but not...but I couldn't ever see him without...being afraid...all over...all over again."
He put his hands on his head and scrunched his eyes shut tightly, trying desperately to maintain control. For the first time in a very long time, he was on the verge of falling into that terrible dark pit again. "I can't..." He started to rock. "It's all...it hurts...memories... intel..." His surroundings started to lose focus as he fought for control. "Survive... just survive...I can't go back...I can't..."
Jason felt badly as Misty turned from him. Not because he felt neglected, but because he didn’t know what else he could do. It hurt not to be able to help. And deep down, he also wondered if his decision to break things off just made this all worse for Misty, too, not having anyone closer than a friend to help her through this. But what was done was done, and he couldn’t go back.
He gave her arm a gentle pat before rising. “I’ll leave you be,” he told her quietly. “If you need anything…let me know...”
…It would be a few more hours into the evening before someone unexpected would show up at her room. He entered quietly, seeing she was asleep, and did his best not to disturb or startle her. Easing down in the empty chair, he sat for just a little while, simply being there, and perhaps having a silent conversation with God about all that was happening.
Soon, he sat his guitar on his lap and ever-so-softly began to strum a gentle melody. He simply hummed to the music, his voice a soothing contrast to the chatter out in the hall or the whirring monitors. He’d only gotten back home that same afternoon, and this was the first place he’d come, even before unloading the trailer with the band. It had been a while since Kyle had seen Misty, and their lives had taken different paths. But he wasn’t about to forget their friendship, especially at a time like this.
Ryan’s reaction was a little bit more strange than Eli had expected, but then…he wasn’t sure what he really did expect. She was shocked…and in pain. That much was obvious. He knew she’d pull through…he just hated seeing her like this. And…as much as he didn’t want to admit it, there was a little hole in his own heart now.
He went to take a swig of beer, only to remember the bottle was empty. Rolling his eyes, he got up and set the bottle on the kitchen counter before heading down the hall to his room. Passing by Ryan’s door, he could hear her crying, and felt so helpless. He knew better than to barge in when she’d rather be left alone, but it still didn’t feel good. Instead, he simply went and laid down on his own bed, though stayed awake quite late, just thinking.
For Carson, the a day had never been longer. Or shorter. The hours somehow all merged together into one giant mass of indescribable pain. Later, he wouldn't even remember all he'd done or where he'd gone. But by that night, he was back at Mom and Pop's.
The only sounds were those of the whirring refrigerator and an occasional creak from the freezer. It was late. But he didn't know or care what time it was. The sound of the bell on the front door reminded him that he'd forgotten to lock up, but he didn't care who was here, whether it be friend or foe.
Entering the dark restaurant, Axel took a moment to let his eyes adjust. He heard no sounds of movements, but he'd seen Carson's car outside, so he knew he should be here. Taking the risk, Axel made his way across the dining area and down the short hall to the kitchen door. By now, his eyes were used to the dim light, so when he entered the kitchen, he saw what he'd come for.
Carson was sitting on the floor, leaned back against the cupboards, simply staring into the darkness. A whiskey bottle was in one hand, while a mess of papers were strewn about beside him. Tears trickled slowly down his cheeks, and he didn't even move when the door opened.
A wave of pain an pity struck Axel's heart at the scene. "Carson?"
The familiar voice took Carson completely by surprise, but his lack of expression didn't show it. Only his eyes swiveled up to see a man who had abandoned him along with almost everyone else. His gaze dropped again, and he said nothing.
Venturing forward, Axel took note that the whiskey bottle was missing only a few shots worth. Without asking, he reached down and took it from Carson, then turned to empty the entire contents down the sink. Wandering to the other side of Carson's unmoving form, Axel knelt down and squinted at the papers. They were the divorce papers, still awaiting his signature. Axel sighed and picked them all up before stacking them neatly on the table. He returned and eased down next to Carson, remaining just as quiet for quite a while until he had decided what needed to be said.
"I'm sorry, Carson... for everything you're going through."
A few new tears rolled down Carson's face before he swiped them away with the back of his hand. "Don't be," he mumbled. "It's my fault. All of it."
"Messing up your marriage...yeah, you can take part of the blame for that. But losing your child and your brother?" Axel laid a hand on Carson's shoulder. "You can't take any of that on yourself," he assured softly.
Carson could only nod, afraid he couldn't even speak without breaking down completely. It was a very long time before anything else was said. They just sat in the darkness, Carson silently bearing his sorrow, and Axel silently helping with the burden's weight. It was finally Carson who spoke first. "Why did you come?" He sniffed and wiped his eyes again, the tears having stopped for now.
Axel shrugged. "When I heard all that was happening, I wanted to make sure you had a friend."
"Thought you didn't want anything to do with me anymore."
"I didn't..." Axel thought for a couple moments. "But after I got over my anger, I realized I didn't like the kind of person I was being."
Carson didn't respond, but just let it sink in. Maybe he did have a couple people in his corner. He at least had Katie and Axel now. He didn't know if there was hope for any more than that, but for now...it was enough.
Eric wasn’t sure if Ashlee was warming up to him again or not, but he tried not to make a big deal out of the fact she was actually talking to him. He slowly began to dry off the mare. “Well, I sorta got tossed around a bit when I was a kid, but somehow wound up on a horse farm. Rode a lot. Learned a lot. Eventually, Mick and I crossed paths and figured out we made a good team, so we started racing together. Did that for a long time ‘til I had an accident that ended all that for me.” He tapped his head. “Got messed up pretty good…so I don’t usually ride too fast anymore but…” He grinned. “Every once in a while. And yes…it’s fun. There ain’t nothing else that feels quite like it.”
He continued to rub down the mare’s wet coat until he finally paused and leaned on her back to look across at Ashlee. He didn’t know if it was the right time or not, but he figured he couldn’t do much more damage at this point. “Did I…do anything to upset you? I don’t know what it was, but I’m real sorry if I did. Things just haven’t been the same since I got back.”
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