Don't Know

Tal continues to search Ryan's face as she speaks. All of a sudden, his stomach was in knots, and he didn't like it. Her words of love send a tingle down his spine though, and his grip on her hand tightens. "I love you too," he responds quietly. How many times had he thought of that? How many times had he ventured secret thoughts of a future with her? How often had he waited to hear her say she loved him? Yet in this moment, wrapped in these circumstances... it didn't quite feel like he'd imagined it would. 

Forcing a small smile, he turns and keeps Ryan at his side as he begins to walk slowly again. She loved him... yet admitted this was risky. And that was enough to send Tal's heart spiraling down into a pit of fear. It was one thing to take a risk when Alec was being a jerk and she hated him. It was another to take that same risk when she admittedly was having trouble letting Alec go. Tal had taken this risk before... more than he cared to remember. And every other time, he'd wound up falling flat on his face, left with trying to mend a broken heart. Up until tonight, he'd been confident that he and Ryan were different. But even though she was trying to assure him that she wanted him, this whole thing was like one big red flag to him. 

Stopping back where their shoes had been left, he eases down in the sand, pulling Ryan down with him to sit sideways in his lap. His leg wasn't too appreciative, but he ignored the discomfort for now. Wrapping his arms around Ryan, he nestles his head down into her shoulder and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. 

"How do I know that you won't still have feelings for Alec?" he asks softly. "How do I know that I'm not just setting myself up for heartache...again? To have you admit that this is risky... is like telling me you're not even sure this is what you want. I don't know if I can handle that." 

Kissing her cheek lightly, he gives her a squeeze. "You've been one of the best things that's ever happened to me. And I don't want to lose you. But if I gotta keep looking over my shoulder to make sure Alec isn't there...I don't know if I can do that."