True Feelings

The switch in conversation felt abrupt, but Jason knew that there wasn't much more he and Katie could say about their relationship - not unless they wanted to keep digging at the wounds, and he knew she wanted that about as much as he did - not at all. 

"Misty's doing alright." He takes a sip of his water, trying to clear his head. It felt strange, talking to Katie about Misty, who was now his girlfriend. 

"She's probably doing better than most would. Stubborn enough not to let Carson's arrogance and stupidity get her down." He shakes his head and scoffs. "He really surprised us all on that one. Funny thing is, Alec and I are starting to be friends. Who woulda thought that would happen?" He rolls his eyes "Overall though... I'm glad I can be there for Misty. I know she still gets lonely and I know that under all that hurt, she still misses Carson - I can't blame her for that. He was her husband, after all. So I know there are some holes I can't fill, but... I'm doing my best. As far as her health is concerned, Rick is watching her like a hawk." 

Talking about something else seemed to have eased some of the tension, and Jason could feel himself relax a little bit. Enough that he could look past his own hurt and confusion for just a few minutes at least. Cocking his head, he studies Katie's face again, looking at different things this time. 

"You look better than when you left... I trust your visit to your family was good."

"Pst..."

Rosalyn turns quickly from the kitchen sink, automatically grabbing a towel to dry her hands. Seeing Mick, she smiles, but is curious as to why he was in the house. She usually only saw him out around the barns unless it was mealtime. "Well hi there. Looking for a snack?"

Mick chuckles and shakes his head. "Naw. I was just on my way to the office and thought I'd drop this off on my way." He hands her a letter.

Accepting it, Rosalyn's heart jumps when she sees it's from Chad again. Catching her uncle's eye, her cheeks gain a little heat. "Thanks..."

Mick cocks his head and studies her for several moments. There had been several letters from Chad since he'd left - it was growing apparent to him that it had not just been a casual correspondence until the newness wore off. "Must be quite a guy to keep making the effort to write to you."

She tries to hide her smile, but it's nearly impossible. "He is."

"You, uh... writing back to him?"

Rosalyn nods. "Yeah... Yeah, I am."

Mick continues to study her. He wasn't going to tell her what to do, but he did feel some responsibility as her uncle. "Not jumping into anything too quick there, are we?"

Rosalyn squares her shoulders stubbornly. "Chad has been nothing but a gentleman, and I-"

Mick holds up his hand to stop her, giving her a gentle smile. "Shh," he warns, keeping his voice quiet. "I'm glad you're able to correspond with him."

She backs off a little, now hesitant. "You... you are?"

"I am. I just want to make sure that you're using your keen mind as much as you're using your beautiful heart."

Smiling, Rosalyn understands, appreciating his gentle concern. "I am. Just... you haven't told Dad, have you? He wouldn't understand."

Mick shakes his head. "It's our little secret until you feel ready to tell him." He pats her on the shoulder before turning to leave. "Enjoy yourself. You deserve it."

Watching him leave, Rosalyn bites her lip while her smile lingers. She loved her uncle so much. One day she'd be able to repay him somehow...

...It was evening, after supper and after all the cleaning up was done. Rosalyn had been holding onto Chad's letter all day until she had her free time, and she'd turned down a card game to escape to her bedroom at home. And immediately after reading - and smiling more - she had settled on her bed to reply.

Dear Chad, 

Oregon sounds beautiful. I love the rain and could imagine those misty mornings before the sun. Walking in a gentle rain is one of my favorite things to do. If I'm sad, the gray clouds seem to wrap me in a blanket with the rain covering up my tears. And if I am happy, the lightning seems to smile, and the raindrops are heaven on my skin. 

You're a brave man to accept such an endeavor as my safety. I fear perhaps you don't fully understand how serious a situation it is, because the ranch itself is safe and peaceful. We are untouched here, as there are too many of us - our strength lies in numbers. But outside, there is danger. I have never been harmed. But I have never faced the outside world while so closely connected to this clan's inner circle. My fear is not that you would cower, but that you would be harmed because of me. That is something I'm not sure I could live with. I will not let my fear keep me from you though. I will only pray that God would protect us both, no matter where this leads. 

Pausing her letter, she thinks about her short conversation with Mick. Was she really using her head? Where was all this really going? Did she know? Did she care? Was she being wise or just throwing caution to the wind? It was only letters... or was it? 

I feel sometimes that I wish I knew more of what you and I have - where we are going, and if the letters will fade, or become something more. But I know that right now, neither you or I can afford more than written words, entrusted to the mail. And I think I'm satisfied with that, if you are. I have no one else knocking on my door or asking me for a date. Yet if they did, what would I tell them? How serious are you? How serious are your sweet words that make my heart flutter? Are they empty, written only in fun to temporarily occupy your heart? Or are they sincere, meant only to me? Miles between make it difficult for a young woman like me to know for sure whether this path is right and smooth, or if it is crooked and full of pitfalls. When I imagine your arms around me, I feel safer than anywhere else. When reading your words, I feel like an undeserving princess holding a treasure. Am I naive and foolhardy? Or am I feeling what is true and embracing it? 

She thinks of her father's reaction when Chad had left. Was he right? She'd been so embarrassed and upset. She'd never told Chad about that, and wasn't going to yet either.

While I search for answers, know that I dearly love hearing from you and also writing to you. For someone I hardly know, I miss you a lot, which is confusing to my heart. If I had to sew a hundred buttons, I wouldn't mind, if it meant I was able to see you again.  

It's getting late and I have an early morning tomorrow, so I better get this letter to the mailbox so I can go to bed. I'll say hi to the moon on my walk. 

Rosalyn

Had she said too much? Had she written too many doubts? Would they scare Chad away or make him leery? She hoped not. But she did want to be honest with him, and what she'd said was truly what was on her heart and mind.