Two weeks later

Jason chuckles. "Yeah well, I say creativity is only dangerous when it involves sharp objects or things that blow up. Anything else is pure art."

Lifting his pop, he offers a toast. "To your creativity, and the baby's room. May it not be wild enough to disturb the baby's sleep."

Only later would Jason realize that he had really enjoyed the evening. He still felt off kilter. He still had mixed emotions about Katie and he missed her terribly, while still being angry with her at the same time. But... slowly, slowly, those emotions began to be less severe, turning into a dull ache.

It was after hours, but Axel was bent over the car engine, a light hanging from the open hood. Fingering his wrench, he squints, tinkering for several minutes. He didn't normally stay up this late working, but it had been a long day with a long conversation with several other people, and he'd been in too sour a mood to settle down for the night. He'd called off his date with Jess and had ignored the two messages on his answering machine from the band. He figured he'd feel better tomorrow, but for tonight, he just wanted to keep himself occupied until he was tired enough to sleep. 

Several days ago, things had been fine. He'd had his suspicions and had even voiced his concerns. But regardless, he hadn't seen this coming. And now... now he wasn't sure what to think or believe.

Hearing the garage back door open and close, he doesn't lift his head. He'd normally check to see who it was - no one should be here at this hour, and without the security system on, it wasn't the safest place to be. But somehow, he didn't have to ask who had come. Somehow, he knew.

Carson approaches slowly, tucking his hands in his denim jacket pockets. He'd tried to call Axel several times today but had received no answer and no call back. It wasn't like his friend and he'd grown concerned... until he'd found out that Rocky had told Axel what had been going on. Carson hadn't planned on telling Rocky everything, especially so soon after moving, but when he and Phil had come to the restaurant for an in-depth Bible study last night, the truth had come out. Neither one had said much, but Carson hadn't given them a chance either, hibernating in the kitchen until they'd left.

Now though, he just wanted to make sure his best friend would still socialize with him. Coming slowly to Axel, he stops near the car and waits, unsure how to initiate a conversation.

Axel feels Carson's eyes but takes his time. Finally straightening, he pulls a rag from his back pocket and slowly wipes his greasy hands. Eventually, his eyes rise to see Carson. What he found was not an arrogant man or a man proud of his actions. What he found was as man who looked like he'd been beaten from the inside out. But that didn't dissolve the feelings he had. He eyes Carson for several moments before breaking the silence. "What do you want?"

Carson's shoulders drop just a little bit more. "I dunno. I just... when you didn't return my calls, I called Rocky and he said he'd talked to you." Rocky had also been rather cold, to say the least, making his disapproval quite obvious. "I... guess I thought I should drop by."

"Not sure what for." Axel tries to clean off some grease on his palm but even the towel won't rub it off. He looks at his hands, battling his feelings as he had been the whole latter part of the day.

Carson swallows hard. The atmosphere was thick enough to slice with a knife. "I... well are you... I mean we..."

"Look." Axel stops fidgeting with his rag and looks up again. "If you're looking for approval for what you're doing, you came to the wrong place."

"No, I-"

"If you're looking for a shoulder to cry on, you still came to the wrong place."

"It's not-"

"And if you think I'm just gonna ignore the whole thing..." Axel pauses, pursing his lips. He knew that Carson was his brother in Christ. He knew that a sin, no matter how big or small was a sin just the same and that it was man that labeled rankings from bad to worse. He knew that he had no right to judge, lest he be judged himself for his own wrongdoings. But this... he couldn't stand by and let Carson think that he approved or thought this was fine. To love was his Christian duty - but also was rebuke. "I'm sorry, Carson. But if you ever wanted for me to lose all respect for you... you have succeeded."

Carson's head hangs and slowly, he turns around. "Goodnight, Axel. Sorry to bother you."

Watching him walk away, part of Axel wanted to stop him and talk more about what had happened. But he doesn't. Hearing the door open and close once more, he returns to his work on the car until much later when he finally was weary enough to call it a night.

Jeff wants to argue with Katie about Angel, but he holds his tongue. He really didn't want to ruin their day by being negative, no matter how frustrated he was. 

"Alrighty then." He aims Hawk down the trail. "Tallyho." 

It took a while to reach the perfect spot for a picnic, so at least when they did, appetites were ready, and Jeff was feeling a little less irritated. He avoided talk of himself, but really, much conversation wasn't needed anyway. Just spending time with his daughter was nice, whether talking or being quiet. He did tell her a little of his trip to Jay's, and he did ask her just a bit about what had happened with Jason. Though upset with Jason's actions, he encourages Katie to stay at the ranch as long as she needed, promising he'd be sticking around too, with no plans to leave town again any time soon.

It wasn't until later that afternoon that Jeff would excuse himself to his bunkhouse to take a much-needed nap after the long ride. He didn't want it, but his body insisted and he didn't want to risk making Katie or Angel any more upset with him. The nap only came after making sure he saw Ashlee though, wishing her a belated birthday along with giving her a gift card to the tack shop in town. He'd planned on taking her and Stacy there himself but... he didn't make mention of that now. Not after having seen Eric and Stacy cozying up to each other like they had been. No, for today, a nap was the only other thing he'd do.


"Justin? It's Ken Truman." 

"Oh, hi." Justin keeps one hand on the steering wheel as he drives towards North Springs. He was halfway there and hoped Ken wasn't calling to cancel his session with Mackenzie. Although he'd been dealing mostly with Carson, so hearing from Ken at all was a bit of a surprise. "What can I do for you?"

"I... needed to let you know about a change." 

Justin wasn't sure he liked his tone, and prepares for anything. "Okay..."

"We were informed that Carson has left his wife and is now living with another woman."

Justin couldn't help his surprise and he spoke without thinking. "What?!"

"We were surprised too." Ken pauses. "Jeanette and I have discussed it though, and... we both feel it's not a situation that we want Mackenzie around. So for the time being at least, we've suspended any visits to Carson." 

Justin's heart sinks. "How's Mackenzie taking it?"

"Not well. I can't tell if she's more upset with us for not letting her see him anymore, or more upset with him for leaving Misty." 

"Probably both." Justin sighs. "I'm glad to know this though, thank you."

Zach pulls up to the curb and parks, checking himself once in the mirror. It wasn't often he had a nice dinner date. Getting out of his car, he straightens his light green shirt under his black blazer and makes sure it's tucked into his dress pants. 

Making his way to the apartment door, he rings the doorbell and waits, a single daisy in hand for Beth.


The next couple weeks seemed to pass in a strange kind of blur. It was funny how the company of one could help heal the wound that another had made. Regardless, Jason found himself spending many evenings with Misty under the guise of helping her or keeping her distracted from her own worries. But in reality, he needed the company just as much. Whether it was supper or hanging out to watch a movie, having someone just to sit with who understood what he was going through was nice. And... he hoped he was doing the same for her. He still hung out with Sandy and the guys, but they didn't know his history... they didn't understand about Katie. It was just... different. They were a piece of life Jason needed, but so was one-on-one time with someone who shared a different kind of common ground.  He didn't want to overstep any bounds or crowd Misty or give anybody else the wrong idea about his intentions... on the contrary, it was just nice to spend some time with her to help and be helped.

Alec trudges down the sidewalk, not sure where he's headed. It had been almost a month since Reese had given him freedom. During that time, half the mornings he'd woken up with a hangover, he'd been turned down for five jobs and he was now dangerously close to having absolutely no money at all. He'd already quit using his motorcycle, unable to pay for any more gas. Hooking up with a few acquaintances, he'd cashed in all the favors he could, but that money was already gone and there were no more favors left. No one wanted to help him when they didn't owe him anymore.

Finding himself in front of Mom and Pop's, he glances in the window, stifling a cough. It had been quite a while since he'd seen his brother. Come to think of it, he wasn't sure he'd seen Carson since he'd been in court after the Agency incident. He hadn't seen him... or Dani... or even Mackenzie. Alec might never tell anybody, but he thought about his family often. He knew they weren't full-blooded family, and he knew they didn't like him... but deep down, he'd always had an unexplainable longing to be closer to them. It made him feel weak so he'd never admit it. But he couldn't help the strange desire.

Sighing, he looks at the door. It was a long shot, but maybe he could wash dishes or something to earn a few bucks until he could find something better. He wouldn't beg... and he knew Carson didn't trust him... but he was getting pretty close to his wits end. Entering the restaurant, he finds it quieter than he would have thought for the noon hour.

Someone coughing makes Carson glance out of the kitchen. Seeing Alec, he immediately bristles. Things were bad enough without his lowlife brother coming around. He'd figured after all the trouble he'd caused, he wouldn't be around here anymore - figured he'd skip town after being released from the Elite. Exiting the kitchen, Carson glares at Alec over the counter. "What do you want?"

Alec hadn't expected a warm welcome, but the glare made any hope diminish. "Just... decided to drop in." He forces a grin. "No harm in that, is there?"

"How many times have I told you you're not welcome here?"

"I dunno." Alec shrugs. "I figure every man has the right to change his mind sometimes."

"Well this man hasn't," Carson hisses. "Now get out."

Alec frowns. "It's been how long? And you still hate me. I was just wondering if you needed any help around here."

"Go find work somewhere else," Carson growls. "You've caused enough damage other places - I don't need you doing it here too." He was in no mood to deal with this. Today was the first day Dani had not been here to work after she'd given him notice. It should seem reason enough for him to want an extra hand. But not Alec. No.

Alec covers another cough and shakes his head. "What's got you in such a sour mood anyway? I'm the one that's been kicked out on his hind end. You still got a great life."

Carson leans closer, gritting his teeth. "Then you haven't been listening to the word on the street. Now get out. Before I get my shotgun."

Alec swallows hard and slowly backs away from the counter. Maybe this hadn't been such a great idea. Come to think of it, it had been downright stupid. His brother would never accept him. "Yeah... okay.... nice to see ya." Heading back outside, he stops near the curb and looks down the street, not even knowing where to go next. And what had Carson meant about implying he didn't have a great life?

Later at his apartment, Alec found himself where he usually did lately... sitting on the floor in the corner, with nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to talk to, and his mind wandering places he'd rather not go. He'd failed another job interview today after leaving Mom and Pop's. It had been hard before to get a job with his record - now it was even harder. And with no allowance coming in, things weren't looking good. And... he had no one to turn to... Or did he? 

Two hours later, he'd emptied his memory of phone numbers for guys he'd worked with or had dealings with in the past. No one wanted a roommate. No one wanted to help. They were all busy, broke too, or just plain didn't want to have anything to do with him. And back in the corner of his apartment, any pride left continued to dwindle.

"Carson? What is that?" Jaz comes up behind him in the apartment after the other man had left.

Carson closes the door and folds the papers he'd been given before she could see them. He'd thought this day couldn't get worse. He'd been wrong. Turning, he shoulders past Jaz, heading for the kitchen. 

"What..." Jaz throws up her arms. "Are you going to tell me?" 

Carson continues walking and simply holds up the envelop so she could see before he disappears around the corner. "I've been served," he calls over his shoulder. 

Jaz frowns. "Served?" Shaking her head, she follows his route to the kitchen to find him slouching in a chair at the table. "What are you talking about?" 

Carson grits his teeth and stares at the envelope. Dani had quit. His best friend had turned his back. He had heard nothing from TJY for the last two weeks, even despite his routine late night visits to use the computers. He was no longer allowed to see his daughter. Faithful customers at the restaurant who were his friends had stopped coming, bringing numbers - and income - dangerously low for this time of year. Alec's visit had done nothing but irritate him. And now this. "That guy at the door was serving me papers," he finally explains. "Misty wants a divorce." 

 

...Thunder rolled across the sky, making the earth tremble. It was another miserable day. Sitting under the window with his head resting against the pane, Alec watches the rain run down the glass in uneven streams. It didn't matter how hard he tried... nothing mattered anymore. He could be good, he could be bad, and in the end, it just didn't matter.

Coughing, he winces, his throat feeling like he'd swallowed nails. Digging into his pocket, he pulls out some change and counts it. Not even enough for the cough syrup he wanted so badly right now.

Resuming his stare out the window, his mind wanders to Ryan, like it did so often. It had been the worst torture ever experienced to not try and see her. He'd heard that she and Tal were still together, and that Tal was on the road to recovery. For that, he was actually glad, but a piece of his heart was still missing.

Alec had tried everything to survive here, but found himself failing. After so long of fighting the rules and straining to be free... this is what he got. Freedom. Was this what it really was? He wonders what would have happened, had he never been caught that night at Scott's house. Being a servant of the Agency seemed better than this right now.

Looking out through the rain, his eyes land on the payphone and he again counts the change in his hand. He just wanted someone to talk to was all... some company? There were a few people he hadn't dared try yet... people he really did miss but hadn't had the guts yet to seek their company. Was it worth it now?

Fifteen minutes later, he's hunched over under the small covering of the payphone in another coughing fit. He'd called the Elite but Dalton hadn't been there. Ty was too busy. Susanne had seemed sympathetic, but had explained she had a date tonight.

Shivering, Alec puts in another quarter but only before he realizes he doesn't know Dani's number...

...Hearing the doorbell, Dani groans. Coming down the hall, she tries to get her earring on at the same time. At this rate, she'd be late meeting Dalton for the dinner and movie they'd planned. Who would be stopping by now anyway?

Getting to the door and opening it, her eyes fall on a weary, damp, rather disheveled brother. And immediately she's on edge. "Alec? What on earth are you doing here?" 

"Um... Just stopping by." He covers a cough with his hand. It had been a long walk, but at least the rain had let up for a while.

"Now's not a very good time."

Alec bites his lip. She didn't seem happy to see him at all. On the contrary, she appeared pretty annoyed. Did she feel the same as Carson? Had he told her about yesterday and put her on guard? "I just wanted some company," he explains quietly. "Thought you might... I don't know." He shrugs. "Talk?"

The longer he stood there, the more Dani's distrust grew. She knew all he'd done. The lies. The cheating. The trouble. And she wanted nothing to do with him. His appearance and tone did tug at hear heart, but she ignored it. No, she wouldn't be pulled in this time. "Sorry, but I have other plans."

Alec's hope vanishes. "Oh."

Dani waits for him to leave but when he doesn't, she starts to close the door as a hint. "I have to go now."

"Yeah... yeah, okay." He backs away, leaving her alone. He'd really hoped he'd receive a warmer reception than this but... he shouldn't be surprised. "Bye, Dani." Trudging back out to the street, just as he reaches the curb the skies break open and the rain pours down in sheets. Pressing himself up against a nearby building, it doesn't help much and a clap of thunder makes him jump. Squinting through the rain, he feels his eyes grow hot. So this is what freedom really was, huh? He'd thought he'd been lonely before. It was nothing compared to this. He'd always prided himself in being able to get whatever he wanted. Now he had no pride left at all. Was this the way it would always be now? Was this ache in his heart here to stay? For once... he had nobody to make it feel better...

...Standing at the bottom of the porch steps, Alec stares at the closed door that was only feet away. The rain was still pouring down, but he didn't move. He was soaked from head to toe - not only from his long walk, but also from having stood here for ten minutes already. Hunching over in a coughing fit, he leans on the handrail until it passes, left to shiver as a new chill hits him. Did he have a fever? He hadn't thought of that. Maybe it would explain his pounding headache. 

He felt stupid. He really didn't know why he was here. He didn't know why he'd thought of here and had actually come. He was just setting himself up for another rejection. Maybe it was his last ditch effort. If Carson's car would have been here, he would have passed by but... it wasn't. It was late in the evening, and Alec knew that most nights Carson got home later than this after closing up the restaurant, so maybe it would be safe for a little while yet. But... would Misty feel the same as the others had? She'd been nicer to him than some, so... maybe she would be now? All he wanted was... someone.

Finally, Alec's feet move and he steps up onto the porch and to the door. The light coming through the window almost feels warm as if it beckons to give rest to weary bones. But he tries not to even hope. Knocking on the door, he waits while dripping on the welcome mat as he continued to shiver. His sight narrows in on the painted wood panels, even though it stings. Maybe no one would notice that the droplets on his face weren't just raindrops. Maybe the redness in his eyes would be overlooked.

But as the door is opened, his gaze immediately drops. He couldn't even find the strength to look up at Misty. "Can I..." Alec's voice cracks and he tries not to let any more tears fall, but it doesn't work very well. "Can I come in?" He eventually lifts his eyes enough to see Misty. "I don't want to be alone and-" A raspy cough slips out and he does his best to stop it. "...and I don't have anywhere else to go."

Jeff wanders towards the house, pausing as he sees Cindy kneeling in the flowers out front. He hadn't seen much of her the last couple weeks. Even though she was doing better, he worried about her, as did most of the others. "Knock knock." 

Cindy looks up quickly, squinting in the evening light. "Oh hey, Jeff. What are you doing all the way out here?"

He shrugs. "Just... taking a walk." In truth, he'd wanted to get away from the ranch for a while. After helping Mick break in one of the horses this morning, he'd been read the riot act by several people for the hard work. He'd been tired, sure, but even more so, he'd been upset at their reaction. He was fine. Just fine. He'd given Angel the anxiety pills back after they bothered his stomach, and his nerves felt as though they were shot, but he didn't care. He just wanted everyone to quit worrying about him. 

"I see." Cindy places another flower in a small hole, patting down the dirt. "Well, it's a nice evening for it."

"Yeah..." Jeff leans on the porch railing, just watching her for a moment. "How's Kaylee doing? I saw her yesterday at the ranch running around a hundred miles an hour."

Cindy chuckles. "She was. Yesterday. The day before. And before." She shakes her head as she continues to work. "She's quite the ball of energy. I wore her out today though and she's already inside conked out." 

Jeff grins. He'd been watching the little girl and loved seeing her run around chasing butterflies. It made him remember Katie when she'd been that age and he'd visited her as her "uncle." At least he had her as his daughter now. The last couple weeks had been nice. They'd had a few long walks and long talks, and he hoped that she would find herself as she'd started out to do here. He avoided talk of his health - that was a subject he didn't want to discuss. But otherwise, he and Katie conversed freely and it was nice. At the same time though, watching Eric and Stacy had made Jeff realize he still had a chunk of his heart missing, and the ache grew day by day. The last couple weeks truly had been nice... and they'd been difficult too. "Well... if you ever need any help with her or anything... I'm available." 

Cindy pauses her work, but keeps her eyes on the dirt. Why had Jeff's tone changed? "Thanks, I appreciate that. Becky usually keeps her occupied when I need a break though." 

"I see..." Jeff runs his thumb along the railing. "Well if... if you ever wanted to get away for an evening or something... I'd be glad to take you to town or something.... Dinner maybe?" 

Cindy could feel heat coming to her cheeks, even though she knew that Jeff's invitation was surely innocent. But she also knew that everyone here was starting to settle on the fact that Wes was not coming back. And though she still wore her wedding ring, people were starting to consider her a widow. And it hurt... a lot. 

Finally turning to look up at Jeff, her expression was not angry, but it was not happy either. His moves on Stacy recently had been obvious. Now that Eric had taken over that territory, Jeff was here instead. "Jeff, it would probably be best if you stopped hitting on the same women you pity." 

Jeff straightens, not having expected that. And something inside...hurt. "I'm...I didn't..." He swallows hard. Had he really meant it that way? Maybe... he had. Now though, he was royally embarrassed. "I'm... I'm sorry." He turns to leave. 

Cindy cringes, not having meant to hurt his feelings. "Jeff, wait, I..." Too late. He was gone. She sighs deeply and turns back to her flowers. A tear rolls down her cheek and she runs her fingers through the dirt. "Oh, Wes," she whimpers. "I don't know if I can ever let you go."

"Wai-wait... I um...got it I got it..." Grabbing the barstool and trying to pull himself up, Hunter's foot slips, sending him right back to the floor into a howling fit of laughter. "How's 'bout you just'n bring me my my drink down here?" He points at he floor. "It's clean 'nuf."

One of his drunken buddies snickers as he leans heavily on the bar to keep himself from winding up in Hunter's position. "I could give ya a...a...a slurpy thingy."

Hunter's eyes widen as he quirks one eyebrow. "A wha? Oh a straw!"

"Yeah yeah, right."

Hunter starts laughing again and points to the door. "A reaaaaaaly long 'n right on out to th' curb to put in th' beer truck." Finding the thought quite funny, he shakes his head, unable to stop his laughter. "Hook me up, boys! At'sa next hot thing 'n gettin' drunk!"

The night hadn't started out with the intention to get drunk. It just seemed the thing to do after earlier events. There had been a good crowd at the desert race tonight and Hunter had been fired up. It was just one of those days that he could care less about life, would rather forget the past, and figured he had absolutely nothing to lose. It was a day to throw caution into the wind and push the limits, wherever they might be. It was the kind of a day where Hunter had wanted to rebel against his innermost thoughts of life, loss and regret. 

More laughter fills the bar and Hunter manages to pull himself up on his knees, his eyes barely able to see up over the bar. Reaching blindly with his hand, he finds his beer bottle. Sliding back down to the floor, he brings the bottle with him, spilling half of it on the way. "Oops." He grins up at his laughing friend and points to the puddle on the floor. "Hey look! Th' drinks 'r on th' house!"

There's a strange pause until one of the guys suddenly bursts out laughing again. "I got it! The house! Floor... house..." He cackles and stumbles up to the bar to order another shot of whiskey.

"A toast!" Hunter raises his beer sloppily in the air. "Ta good timesss, beer, an'... an'...."

"Women!"

"Amen." Hunter nods and takes another long swig.

 Hunter was behind. Somehow he'd wound up in fourth place, which was no place to be for the money that was riding on this tonight. He knew Ryan was in first place and it burned him up that she'd have him again this week. It had been three weeks since he'd raced against her and won, and it was about time for that to change. 

Shifting gears, he pushes his car to the max, despite the upcoming curve. He could handle it - he hadn't missed this turn yet. And he didn't. The slide was beautiful. From a distance it would have looked like a floating cloud of dust. The only thing missing was Hunter's regard for the other drivers and what his maneuver might cause. With eyes only for his win, he'd lost sight of the other cars.

No one was sure exactly what happened after that. The car next to Hunter's spun out of control as the driver apparently overcompensated to avoid a collision. Without warning, Hunter's car was hit with just enough force to send it rolling. Jostled to the point of dizziness, pain shot through Hunter's skull as his head hit the window, and once his car had stopped, it took him several moments to regain his senses. 

After that, there had been an explosion. Gripped with fear, Hunter had freed himself of his own car to sprint for the one on fire where he was met with several others to help pull the driver to safety. It wasn't long before the lights of the ambulance had come. Jerry was badly burned and had a broken leg and arm but was going to be okay. Hunter escaped with only a bump to the head and a few bruises. And when leaving the hospital hours later, guilt would be the toughest to recover from. No one blamed him for the accident, but it was obvious that Jerry was lying in that hospital bed because he'd made a reckless move. He might not be openly accused, but he knew good and well that it was his fault. And his confidence in himself, his choices and invincibility was severely shaken. An invite to the bar was all it had taken to send him towards the bliss of drowning out the terror of almost killing another man... and himself.

"Alright, you, I think you've had enough. How about I take you home?"

Hunter looks up to squint at the one sober guy in their little group. "Just'n 'cause you the dresernegated droover d'sn't mean I haft-" He pauses mid-sentence to belch. "...hafta leave when yooooou say so." His pointing finger sways back and forth.

"Yeah well, I gotta get home and if I'm gonna drive you, we need to leave now, and no, I'm not leaving you here."

"Kay...kay..." Hunter relents and tries to pull himself up again, only to slide back down to the floor. Snickering, he shakes his head at his friend. "An'body gots a truck tow?"

Half an hour later, he was being dumped into his bed and left for the night. Tomorrow, he would only remember half of the evening at the bar. His head would pound. And he'd feel no better...

...Staring blankly at the kitchen table, Hunter manages another swallow of coffee. Why he did this to himself, he'd never know. It wasn't worth it and he knew it. Getting that drunk was stupid, pointless, dangerous and unhealthy. Yet he'd found himself, once again, with his rowdy friends who just encouraged him to drink one more...and one more until he'd been so drunk he didn't even remember coming home. All he knew was he'd woken up with a giant of a hangover.

It had been a while since he'd gotten this drunk. Come to think of it... the last time he'd even come close was the night Katie had arrested him, and that time hadn't been all that bad. After that... when he'd felt like getting drunk, he'd called or texted her instead and had wound up with something other than a beer to keep himself occupied. Maybe somewhere down deep he'd been searching for someone to keep him from his own stupidity, whether he'd admit it or not.

Images of the evening before flash in his mind. Rolling in his car. Seeing an explosion in his mirror. Helping pull Jerry - burnt and unconscious - from the flaming car. He hadn't even realized his own head had been bleeding until someone had pointed it out. The evening would have been a good one, had he not been so reckless. But he just hadn't... cared. He hadn't cared about risking his own neck, nor anyone else's. And right about now, it didn't feel good at all.

Turning back to his coffee, he swallows the last of it and grimaces. It tasted terrible. Maybe he'd just go back to bed for a while. He didn't have anywhere to go anyway...

...Straddling his parked motorcycle, Hunter looks out at the lake, glowing with colors from the setting sun. He'd bypassed another invite to the bar - it had taken him all day yesterday to get over his hangover... he really didn't want another one so soon. Not that coming to the lake alone was all that great.

Sighing, he folds his arms and just watches the water. Life. Why was it so depressing? There had been a time he'd been happy. He'd loved life. He had goals. He had dreams. And now... ever since that accident with Break Out... everything had become one murky blur. No matter how hard he tried, it just hadn't gained any clarity at all. He was as confused and angry today as he was then. Nothing he did returned to him his dreams. Nothing resolved this aching guilt for his lifestyle. Nothing allowed him release from the memories of friends he'd turned his back on.

His recent accident just added to his muddled emotions. He knew he'd been reckless as of late, but no one had ever gotten hurt from it. He'd done a lot of stupid things that had risked his neck, but seeing Jerry like that...

Hunter didn't want to admit it, but he was scared. For the first time, he was scared of himself. What if he did something stupid like that again? What if somebody else got hurt? He'd been acting as if he were invincible - but he was not, nor were the people around him. How many times had he gone racing down crowded streets just for a thrill? What if he'd hit someone? The other night in the desert, his only focus had been on winning - he'd completely ignored the other cars around him, and had especially ignored their safety. They all knew the risks. They all knew that accidents happened. No one blamed him in particular for the accident. But... it had never happened before. Would he be reckless again? Would he let his desire to win override safety again? What if Jerry hadn't survived? Then what?

Sighing, he digs his cell phone from his pocket. He didn't want to bother Katie. She was trying to forget about Nevada and her problems. Venting to her would only cause her more stress. And yet... if there was anybody he wanted to talk to right now, it was her. She wasn't like his other friends. She talked to him - not just convincing him to go get drunk like the others. She was just... special. And even if he wouldn't ever dare say it... he kinda missed her.

Finally flipping open his phone, he types out a text message.

What up? Hope ur getting some good

relaxing. Me I got myself in a
fender bender. Kinda. Desert race
gone bad. My fault. Other guy will
be ok but not good.

Hunter's fingers pause above the small buttons as a lump rises in his throat. He was angry. Angry with himself and angry that he couldn't handle this on his own. Rubbing his forehead, his fingers run over the bandage, reminding him of his short hospital visit.

Car's busted. Idk if I'll race when
its fixed tho. Got a bad taste in
my mouth I guess. Dont wanna hurt
somebody else.

Would she be able to tell what a hard time he was having? He kinda hoped not. Maybe he shouldn't send this at all. Maybe he should just say hi and leave it at that. He sighs. Nah... he'd go ahead and send it. It wasn't that bad and she probably wouldn't read into it enough to be worried about him.

Anyway... Hope ur smiling cuz ur
even prettier when you do. Ttyl.

After sending it, he just stares at his phone for a few minutes. It would be nice to actually talk to her. Maybe he should have just called her. No, she might be busy or trying not to talk to anybody right now. A text was better. That way she could more easily ignore it if she wanted to. If she wanted to call him back she would, but he figured she'd probably just text since it was easier. She probably had enough going on the way it was.