5/26/12

The Past

Hunter chuckles and shakes his head. He was a bit tired, but he wouldn't leave Katie to her own devices in this state. It wouldn't be safe for her or anything else in the living room for that matter. 

"Naw, I'll stay up for a while if you don't mind the company." Kicking off his shoes, he puts his feet up on the coffee table and grabs his tv remote. Flipping through channels, he finds a B movie that wasn't too bad, so he leaves that on. "I've seen this at least ten times but the end is still good."

Settling back in the cushions, he yawns and puts his arms up behind his head. Turning just his eyes to look at Katie, he studies her, and again feels sorry for her. She was drunk but so sad and he didn't like it at all. Motioning her over, he offers himself if she wanted something warm to cuddle up to. He wouldn't mind if it would help her fall asleep. 


Standing up, Garret nods, even though this whole thing was a mess. "I love you too..." Pulling Victoria close for one last hug and kiss, he finally lets her go before turning to the dead guard. Picking him up and slinging him over a shoulder, Garret nods his goodnight to Victoria, knowing he might not see her until the next night. In the meantime, he had some explaining to do about this guard and he had better think up the rest of his story fast.

Heading through the trees to the back of the security building, he waits for the camera like always, then enters the lawn. Life. Was this really life? Was there really something different out there? And if there was, could it be attained or not? These were the questions that could never be asked aloud. 


"Afternoon."

Jared looks up and puts aside the magazine he'd been through ten times. Seeing it was Justin, he was a little surprised, but still pleased. "Hey."

"Ma said she stopped by earlier but I was just going through town after seeing a client so..."

Jared nods. "You felt obligated to stop."

Justin smirks a little. Jared wasn't dumb. It was mostly obligation that led him here, yes. Yesterday had been a good day with church and time spent with Beth both at the pond and supper at his place. Feeling better than he had been, helped his mood be good enough to come back here today. "That and I gotta go get Ma's groceries next and she'd ask me if I saw you."

"Ah yes. Worse than a conscience, eh?"

Justin didn't know whether to laugh or feel guilty. Coming in to sit down, he sighs. "She said you gotta be in here a bit longer."

"Yeah... I guess the doctor didn't like the results of some blood tests or something. They wanna get some numbers up before they'll release me."

"Didn't that happen before?"

Jared nods. "Twice. I feel alright. Kinda tired. But yeah they've wanted to get rid of me a couple times now and couldn't. Blood pressure once... infection the other time. Now this."

"Well at least they're being cautious."

"Yeah." A weird pause follows and Jared's eyes drop to his bedspread. "I learned I like chicken fingers this week... and Ma said red used to be my favorite color..." He remembers what Grace said about asking some less important questions. "What did we do for fun as kids?"

Justin chews on the inside of his lip. Not much. He shrugs. "We didn't do a whole lot together."

"No?" Jared glances to him again. "How come?"

"Different personalities I guess. You liked sports. I liked fishing. You liked board games. I liked worm hunting."

"What about later? Like as teenagers? Did we have any girlfriends?"

As teenagers? By then, Justin and Jared were all but enemies. Justin shakes his head. "You had a few I think. I remember Rhoda. She was nice. Cheerleader, I think. You always got the pretty ones."

Jared grins a little. "Oh yeah?"

"Mm-hmm."

"What about you?"

"Me? Naw. Oh, I've had a couple girlfriends but nothing serious and not til college. Had a real nutcase too - that turned out great. Still ducking her calls every now and again."

Jared chuckles, starting to relax. Maybe Justin was finally warming up. "Mom said we went to different colleges. Did we get together ever?"

"Uh... no... no we didn't."

There was that tension again. Jared's shoulders slouch a little. "And there's the cue to change subjects."

Justin gives him a quick glance, realizing he'd been way too obvious. A new deep sigh comes out. Was he finally brave enough to face this? Did he want to? Was it even right to tell Jared? He'd told him to forget about it. He'd told him to just move on and start a new life without knowing the past the last time he was here. Wouldn't telling him now be contradicting himself? But did that matter if this was right? He recalls what Beth had said the day before, and knows deep down that she was right. Jared deserved to know, whether Justin really felt ready or not. "You really want to know about what happened between us, don't you?"

Jared nods. "Yeah... I do. But I won't ask again if it bothers you that much. Maybe someday I'll wind up remembering. I can tell it's a sensitive topic and I don't want to upset you."

"I had just turned ten." Justin wasn't sure what had changed his mind during the last couple minutes. Maybe it was Jared's willingness to let it go. Maybe it was knowing how pointless it was to hide the truth. It hurt. But maybe Jared was right. Maybe he deserved to know. "You were twelve. Dad was going to come home early from work so he and I could go fishing as a birthday present to me. He died in a car accident on the way home."

Though Jared couldn't remember, he still felt a pang of sadness. Justin had said something about a car accident when they'd been kids but he knew no details. "So what happened?"

"You blamed me for it."

Jared blinks. "I... but..."

"It apparently made sense to you at the time. It was my birthday. Dad was coming home early because of me. If it hadn't been for me, he probably would have avoided the accident." Justin could feel his stress level rising. "You never forgave me. At the funeral, you made a scene out of yelling at me and blaming me in front of everybody."

Jared swallows hard. He didn't remember, but he felt rotten anyway. "Was... was that it?"

Justin looked back at the hopeful eyes and for a moment, he wanted to lie. But he'd come this far - he couldn't stop now. "No... no, things never were the same after that. We'd always been competitive, but it was worse after that. We never talked about Dad - all it did was start fights. We brawled a time or two and after a while we just didn't talk much at all." Justin shrugs. "You left home as soon as you could and I didn't see you much after that."

"Oh..." Jared didn't know what to say now. Had he been that bitter? Had he really blamed his brother for something like that? It was... it was horrible. "So we hadn't seen each other much up until my accident?"

"Not much. You'd come to see Ma. Said you were passing through but you stuck around. That uh... tooth you're missing..."

Jared feels around with his tongue where there was a space over on one side where a tooth should be. "Yeah?" He'd thought it was from the accident.

"That's... my fault."

Jared lifts an eyebrow. "What?"

"I... sorta slugged you." Justin cringes a little.

"What for?"

"For a snide comment about me killing Dad."

Jared's eyes lower once again. "After... seventeen years?"

Justin leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I guess so."

"I'm... I'm sorry." Jared glances over at him. "I know it doesn't mean much since I don't remember it... but I'm sure if I could, I'd say the same thing."

Would he? Justin had his doubts. Jared had no idea what kind of a cruel man he'd been. "I can't hold it against you," he admits. "Especially after all this."

Jared nods numbly. "Justin... did I have a girlfriend when I had my accident?"

"Not that I know of, why?"

Jared shrugs. "I thought maybe I remembered something. I guess not." Maybe that blonde that invaded the scene of his accident was just his imagination.

After that, they were interrupted by a nurse wanting to check Jared over, so Justin took his leave. It was a rather awkward parting, but perhaps it was the best that could be expected. Heading from the hospital, Justin is tempted to call Beth, but opts not to yet. He didn't want to crowd her... especially now.

Once the nurse leaves, Jared is left alone yet again. It always felt like that... like he was being left alone. He wondered if that's the way it would be, even when he was released from here. He had no friends and no other family, apparently. How would he even survive?

Glancing up at the wall clock, he wonders if Grace was coming today. He couldn't remember what she'd said the day before. All of his days just all seemed to melt into one anymore. While he hoped she would come because he liked her company... part of him wasn't so sure he was ready for her to read his eyes as well as she always did. This conversation with Justin was a lot to process and he wasn't quite sure he knew what to do with it yet.

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