2/7/10

Pouring Rain

Gage mulls over what Sapphire was saying, remaining quiet. There were things he wanted to say... words that were on his mind, but he waits to formulate them first. That's what he usually did, so he knew that Sapphire wouldn't think he wasn't listening when he doesn't respond. 

Receiving Sapphire's question, he manages a smile and he nods. She needed this more than he did. "Okay. The amusement park it is. Swing by my place first and I can even get on a nicer smelling shirt." 

Once on their way, the drive was nice and long, giving ample time for thoughts, quietness and light conversation. After a particularly long pause though, Gage begins to speak. He'd thought it through enough now that he was ready to  say what was on his mind. 

"I don't wanna harp on this anymore but... it's unresolved, and I just wanna explain how I'm feeling." He kept his tone gentle, not wanting to rile her up again. 

"Your brother, Saph... he does see how important I am to you. That's why he's fighting so hard. If he thought you didn't care, he wouldn't have anything to worry about."

Stopping again, Gage watches the unfamiliar scenery pass by. "I can't... blame Scott. No, I'm not happy, and to be rightful honest, I'm a little scared of him. I can handle myself but I don't want to hurt anybody and he knows that - it puts me at a disadvantage."

He clears his throat, still thinking. "I know you think he's being selfish... but what the Agency did to him... They pride themselves for getting into people's heads. And I know Scott resisted the assimilation, but there's still a part of him now that's been trained by the Agency whether he likes it or not. And realizing that... it's enough to drive any man mad. If I was in his place, I'd have a gun and be hunting down the people that went after me. He's not. But where does all that anger go? Here I am, Agency scum, and dating his sister no less. It's only natural that he come after me." 

Stopping for a moment, Gage's hand slips over to Sapphire's once again. He was trying to help smooth things over, but he knew that the bottom line was Scott had gone too far. Agency influence or not... he'd mishandled the situation. And Gage knew that Scott had hurt his sister deeply - it wasn't something that would just go away. Most likely, the siblings' relationship would never be the same again. But Gage wished it wasn't so. He didn't like seeing Sapphire upset, especially when he was the source of it all.

"Whatever happens though... I'm here for you. Source of the problem or not... you've done so much for me... maybe now it's my turn." 


Scott listens quietly, though ire still churned deep below the surface. "I know God's the judge, Dalton... I know He's the one that will have justice in the end. But that doesn't take away what I feel. It doesn't take away these things in my head or erase my memories." 

Being led from the bathroom, Scott wanted to feel better... he wanted to let it go and move on. These emotions - they weren't new. But enough inside his head had built up now that the anger had just piled up to the breaking point. He'd been beaten down, broken, scared, restored, and now after everything had settled down, he'd begun to realize the reality of it all, and like a light switch, it had turned on the anger. And now with Sapphire... he just couldn't understand. 

Brought back to reality by Dalton's question, Scott shrugs. "I'll think about it." Walking beside his big friend, he stops and looks up at him. "Go see Rick." Hidden or not, he'd noticed Dalton favoring his side. "I'll be fine now. Thanks for... for helping me. I just... gotta work through this, okay?" 

Stepping ahead of Dalton, he heads back upstairs in the lead, heading down the hallway and back to his office. He knew Dalton would probably stop at the infirmary, so he takes his time settling in behind his desk. Leaning back in his chair, he swivels, his mind reeling.

I'm looking through a window,
Streaked with pouring rain.
The images are blurred by,
Little rivers running down.

I see you standing out there,
The tears are in your eyes.
I reach for you to touch you,
But my fingers meet the glass.

Finally, Scott leans forward, pulling up a blank email and starts typing. 
Sapphire - 
I'm sorry about earlier. But don't ever again corner me like you did today. There are some things that I can't explain so I'm not going to try. I know you can think for yourself and that I can't tell you what to do. But if I didn't warn you about being more than friends with Gage, then I wouldn't be much of a brother. What happens between him and me stays between him and me. If he's any sort of man, he doesn't need you to come after me with threats. Do it again, and I have no problem pulling rank on you. So please... don't. 
-Scott

Oh, I'm staring back at you.
But you're beyond my reach.
The rain just keeps on pouring down,
Are you still watching me?
The pain I feel is numbing,
Like an ice cold winter breeze.
Oh, the rain skews my perspective...
Or is it my own tears?

Hitting "send," Scott rifles through some papers on his desk, shuffling them and putting them back in his filing drawer. Then picking up the phone, he dials and waits to get the familiar voicemail. He knew calls were usually screened and that was just fine today. "Hope... it's me. I know you're working out of the office today. Look... I've got a lot of work to do and... it's gonna take me longer than I thought. I'm gonna have to take a rain check on supper tonight. We'll um... do it tomorrow. Also, um... I got to thinking about Christmas day and... I know we were gonna go to my parents and all but I was wondering if maybe you and I could just have a quiet time alone. I'd... like that better. So... let me know."

I'm looking through a window,
As I drive away.
The scenery is waving,
Like a storm-tossed memory.

I see you walking there,
A sadness in your eyes.
I reach for you to hold you,
But my fingers meet the glass.

The phone still rests in Scott's hand as he dials another familiar number. "Mom..." He'd reached another answering machine, and again, he was glad. "I know I said Hope and I would come to Christmas dinner, but, um... it looks like at least I won't be able to make it. There's a lot going on and... I hope you're not too disappointed. So... just plan on one less and I'll talk to you soon. Bye." 

Oh, I'm staring back at you.
But you're beyond my reach.
The rain just keeps on pouring down,
Are you still watching me?
The pain I feel is numbing,
Like an ice cold winter breeze.
Oh, the rain skews my perspective...
Or is it my own tears?

Scott rests his head in his hands, rubbing his blind eye with his palm to relieve the soreness. It got worse when he was under stress, and if today had been anything, it was stressful. It was only mid-afternoon, but it felt like it should be late evening with how tired he was. His hands hurt too. After Dalton had bandaged him up, now the pain was finally sinking in. 

Sighing, he fiddles on the computer a few moments before finally going for the phone again. There were too many things on his mind to concentrate on work right now. "Yeah, hey, this is Scott... um... listen... can we get together and talk? Would tonight work? Yeah, it's just... I got some questions about some Agency stuff. Yeah... okay sure. Thanks." 

Please tell me it's the storm.
Tell me the clouds will break.
Tell me the pouring rain will,
Wash away the tears.
Tell me again how storms pass.
And bring the sun again.
Tell me...

Sliding his elbows apart, Scott leans his head down on his desk, closing his eyes. He didn't know when Dalton would be back to his own computer, but right now, he just was so tired. He just wanted to rest. His mind was so full, and now not only was it Agency thoughts battling inside of him, it was thoughts of his sister and the damage that had been done today. It just wasn't fair - none of it was.

Oh, I'm staring back at you.
But you're beyond my reach. 
The rain just keeps on pouring down,
Are you still watching me?
The pain I feel is numbing,
Like an ice cold winter breeze.
Oh, the rain skews my perspective...
Or is it my own tears?

I'm looking through a window,
Streaked with pouring rain.

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