"Because they don't have to haunt you forever because deep down inside somewhere...even if you can't see it now, somewhere inside you know the truth. Its looked away, hidden, your not sure but your subconscious does know."
Standing straight again Ryan cross her own arms over her chest. This was a subject she didn't know to much about but she did her best for his friend to give help. There had to be some way to for Axel to get over and around this once again.
"Have you ever though about retracing your steps of that night? Like going back to that area. It might trigger something and for your own sake tell you what happened. It wouldn't be an easy thing but it might give you peace of mind."
Letting out a small sigh and pacing the floor a little Ryan finally stops in front of Axel and looks down at him tilting her head a little bit. He had been her friend for a long time and he was kind. Never did she feel awkward around him or scared.
"I don't know if it help at all Axel but I know you, and I believe you when you say you didn't do it. Your to nice of a guy to have done that. I am sure Jess feels the same way and your other friends too."
Happy Quinn said he would go to lunch with her at least one last time Anastasia gives a nod before disappearing into one of the back rooms. Coming out finding her Uncle and than hoping into her car she waits for Quinn.
Sitting in the car and looking out the back window Anastasia looks in the mirror and see Quinn fiddling with his car as it wouldn't start. Sitting still for a moment she looks up to the roof and gives a smile as she shook her head a little bit.
Seeing Quinn come over to her Anastasia rolls down her window and looks out at him. It was as she assumed and his car would not start. Giving a laugh and looking up at him her eyes seem to twinkle.
"Yet another peace to the mysterious puzzle."
Opening her car door and getting out Anastasia puts her sun glass on the top of her head. Thinking for a moment while she watched Quinn she wondered if this was part of the plan or a little side deture.
"We have two options. One we can still get something to eat, or two I can call a really good shop I know that fixes cars to take a look at it and get something to eat while we are waiting. Wont take long to get the number and someone out here."
8/27/10
Suggestions?
Axel draws in another shaky breath and sniffs, trying to regain his composure before he answers Ryan. Face the nightmare? He didn't even know how. Not this time. Her question lingers.
"I don't know." Finally turning around, his eyes remain red, proving his tears had not been mistaken. "Quinn started in on me and... I just couldn't take it. I couldn't relive the accusations. I didn't want to just stand there and defend myself all over again. If he didn't believe in my innocence before, why would he now?"
He shrugs lamely. "I have no proof, Ryan. I never have. No alibi and... nothing." He swallows hard and his voice lowers to almost a whisper. "And now you're going to be one of the few who know that even I'm not a hundred percent sure of myself." It was the truth. There was still the nagging reminder that there were still some nights Axel had no idea where he'd been or what he'd been doing. To do the unthinkable made him sick, but he still could never be a hundred percent sure he had not been guilty.
Looking Ryan in the eye, the turmoil in his own was evident. "I have no argument... no defense. What more can I do but walk away and leave the shadows to haunt me?"
Quinn sighs deeply. Anastasia was the only good thing about this stopover - that and a new record. It was only natural he didn't want to let it go, right? But he knew he must. There was only war awaiting him here. But lunch? That he could do.
Reaching out, he runs his finger down her hand. "Yeah... okay. I think I've got enough appetite now, and even if I didn't... how I could turn you down?"
A new little smile appears and he nods to the door. "I'll follow you so I can leave from there."
In only a few minutes, Quinn is behind the wheel of his car and turning the key. But instead of hearing the engine roar to life, it sputters, almost turns over then dies. Frowning, he tries again but with the same result. Sighing, he gets out and pops the hood, tinkering for a moment, but finding nothing wrong. Trying again, the engine still won't start.
"Why now?" he grumbles aloud. "I do not need to be stuck in this town. This is ridiculous."
Getting out, he looks over the roof of the car to where Anastasia was waiting to pull out. He shakes his head then walks over to her, motioning for her to roll down her window. "Houston, we've got a problem. My car apparently doesn't want to leave its parking space. Got any suggestions?"
"I don't know." Finally turning around, his eyes remain red, proving his tears had not been mistaken. "Quinn started in on me and... I just couldn't take it. I couldn't relive the accusations. I didn't want to just stand there and defend myself all over again. If he didn't believe in my innocence before, why would he now?"
He shrugs lamely. "I have no proof, Ryan. I never have. No alibi and... nothing." He swallows hard and his voice lowers to almost a whisper. "And now you're going to be one of the few who know that even I'm not a hundred percent sure of myself." It was the truth. There was still the nagging reminder that there were still some nights Axel had no idea where he'd been or what he'd been doing. To do the unthinkable made him sick, but he still could never be a hundred percent sure he had not been guilty.
Looking Ryan in the eye, the turmoil in his own was evident. "I have no argument... no defense. What more can I do but walk away and leave the shadows to haunt me?"
Quinn sighs deeply. Anastasia was the only good thing about this stopover - that and a new record. It was only natural he didn't want to let it go, right? But he knew he must. There was only war awaiting him here. But lunch? That he could do.
Reaching out, he runs his finger down her hand. "Yeah... okay. I think I've got enough appetite now, and even if I didn't... how I could turn you down?"
A new little smile appears and he nods to the door. "I'll follow you so I can leave from there."
In only a few minutes, Quinn is behind the wheel of his car and turning the key. But instead of hearing the engine roar to life, it sputters, almost turns over then dies. Frowning, he tries again but with the same result. Sighing, he gets out and pops the hood, tinkering for a moment, but finding nothing wrong. Trying again, the engine still won't start.
"Why now?" he grumbles aloud. "I do not need to be stuck in this town. This is ridiculous."
Getting out, he looks over the roof of the car to where Anastasia was waiting to pull out. He shakes his head then walks over to her, motioning for her to roll down her window. "Houston, we've got a problem. My car apparently doesn't want to leave its parking space. Got any suggestions?"
Perfect Endnig
Hearing the meeting with Quinn's brother didn't go well Anastasia's fecal expression changed to one that expressed she was sorry. She'd prayed that if Quinn and his brother met things would go ok. She was sad to know it was much less than that.
"Don't under estimate God Quinn. Sometimes we need to walk away, before we can see the whole picture and take a moment to look, and understand."
Anastasia gives a soft smile even though Quinn said he was going to be leaving now. A look of sadness seemed to pass through her eyes and hear own heart seemed a little heavy. So the fairytale would end here. It really was sad when she felt like she really had found something special, but God had to lead right and maybe somewhere there paths would cross again?
Feeling something else tug at her heart Anastasia looks over to the office door where she new her Uncle was. He'd been in there almost all day going over paper work, she was sure he'd let her go on her break now.
"Would you like to have some late lunch? I haven't eaten yet and it would be the perfect ending, though I wish it wouldn't, to a fairytale."
As Axel opens the door Ryan takes note to his blood shot eyes, and his red face. This was more than being sick. There was something wrong and it was written all over his face. Ryan couldn't help it that her heart started to race not knowing what wrong wrong.
Axel's silent invitation was known and Jess steps in letting the door fall shut behind her. He'd always been there for her the least she could do was be there for him now too. His was one of her close friends She couldn't not care about him and what was going on.
"You're brother...!"
Ryan couldn't help but be a little surprise to hear of his brother. She new enough of Axel and his background to understand the tension that was there. Overcoming her shock as quick as she could though Ryan continues to listen to Axel. His voice was so strain and it was so strange to see him like this. Thought it would never go out of this room, this would be between them.
Stepping closer to leaning against the counter Ryan is quiet for a moment thinking. The past coming back was something she understood though a different situation.
"Sometimes we need to really face out nightmares for them to be gone. It's certainly not easy for sure but for a nightmare to truly to be over its a must."
Silent again Ryan thinks again for a moment playing with a napkin that was on the counter. She always thought she did horrible in the comfort department but the best thing for that was just be herself right?
"I'm really sorry thing's didn't go so good with your brother. I wish you guys could of talked better. There wasn't even an inch of room for things to be better?"
"Don't under estimate God Quinn. Sometimes we need to walk away, before we can see the whole picture and take a moment to look, and understand."
Anastasia gives a soft smile even though Quinn said he was going to be leaving now. A look of sadness seemed to pass through her eyes and hear own heart seemed a little heavy. So the fairytale would end here. It really was sad when she felt like she really had found something special, but God had to lead right and maybe somewhere there paths would cross again?
Feeling something else tug at her heart Anastasia looks over to the office door where she new her Uncle was. He'd been in there almost all day going over paper work, she was sure he'd let her go on her break now.
"Would you like to have some late lunch? I haven't eaten yet and it would be the perfect ending, though I wish it wouldn't, to a fairytale."
As Axel opens the door Ryan takes note to his blood shot eyes, and his red face. This was more than being sick. There was something wrong and it was written all over his face. Ryan couldn't help it that her heart started to race not knowing what wrong wrong.
Axel's silent invitation was known and Jess steps in letting the door fall shut behind her. He'd always been there for her the least she could do was be there for him now too. His was one of her close friends She couldn't not care about him and what was going on.
"You're brother...!"
Ryan couldn't help but be a little surprise to hear of his brother. She new enough of Axel and his background to understand the tension that was there. Overcoming her shock as quick as she could though Ryan continues to listen to Axel. His voice was so strain and it was so strange to see him like this. Thought it would never go out of this room, this would be between them.
Stepping closer to leaning against the counter Ryan is quiet for a moment thinking. The past coming back was something she understood though a different situation.
"Sometimes we need to really face out nightmares for them to be gone. It's certainly not easy for sure but for a nightmare to truly to be over its a must."
Silent again Ryan thinks again for a moment playing with a napkin that was on the counter. She always thought she did horrible in the comfort department but the best thing for that was just be herself right?
"I'm really sorry thing's didn't go so good with your brother. I wish you guys could of talked better. There wasn't even an inch of room for things to be better?"
Tears
Quinn doesn't look up right away when Anastasia approaches. He'd wanted to see her, but he wasn't so sure even how to express himself right now.
Hearing her concern after the brief comment about the CD throws him off for just a moment. He'd expected a different kind of reception after she'd probably thought she wouldn't see him again since he hadn't shown up for lunch. But then... if his depressive state was that obvious, frivolity seemed pointless. And maybe the fairytale really was over for her? The gentle touch to his hand though, signals that perhaps it wasn't quite finished just yet.
Finally looking down into her eyes, he sees the sparkle there he'd seen the night before. There was a faint patter in his heart... was there one in hers too? Yet in this moment, all he could do was muster a small smile. The heaviness in his soul outweighed any romantic interests right now.
"I'm okay," he replies quietly, nodding to her. He gestures to the CD. "You can keep that, by the way. A little something to remember me by."
Reaching out, he touches her hair as if making sure she was real, and the faint smile returns. "My brother called," he finally informs. Dropping his hand, he looks back to the rack of music. "It... didn't go well."
He sighs deeply. Why did he even care? He should just let it go and walk away - why could he not?
"I dug too hard too fast, he got offended, we had a few harsh words and he walked out." Quinn shrugs lamely. It had all taken less than ten minutes. "Maybe it really wasn't the plan or the reason for me being here after all." His gaze returns to Anastasia's eyes. "I guess I came back here to let you know I was leaving town. I... thought I could go without saying goodbye but... I just wanted to see you once more."
Axel gets into his apartment and tosses his keys onto the counter. He was trying to keep a lid on all he was feeling but it wasn't going well. Why did Quinn have to come and stir things up? Why couldn't he have just walked away? And why had Axel fallen for going to meet him? He should have known better.
Standing in his kitchen with his arms folded he stares at nothing. His eyes begin to sting and he grits his teeth, but nothing can stop the emotions from spilling out some way or another. It was too quiet here... there were no distractions and nothing to keep himself in check.
The first hot tear rolls down his cheek. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd cried about anything. He was Axel Thornton, Mr. Strong, Mr. Never-show-my-emotions. Though he swiped the tear away with the back of his hand, another one replaces it quickly.
Still standing there lamely as the tears flow, Axel tries to shake it off, but it just didn't work. The pain went far too deeply for him to simply tune it out. Leaning over the sink, his hands brace his weight as the silent tears fall. The nightmare had returned. Everything flashed through his mind from his arrest, to the trial, to the shouting matches with his family, to prison, to his release. All of it was a nightmare - he'd put it all behind him, but now it was thrown in his face once again, and it was just too much to bear right now.
The knock at the door jerks him to attention and he straightens quickly. Hearing Ryan's voice, he sniffs and takes his shirt sleeve to wipe his eyes, willing himself to shut off the waterworks. It was strange that Ryan would come... she didn't normally check on him. They were friends but... maybe she'd sensed there was more than him not feeling well today, especially after his odd behavior yesterday.
Wandering to the door, Axel sets his hand on the knob. Shouldn't it be Jess he should talk to, not Ryan? But then... Jess was at work, and he didn't want to bog her down with any of this stuff anyway. The less she had to worry about, the better as far as he was concerned. At the same time though, did he even want Ryan aware of what was going on?
Taking a deep breath, Axel opens the door. Quiet for a moment, he searches Ryan's face. Even though he hoped he looked fine, he knew that nothing would escape her sharp eyes. And he knew good and well that she'd be able to tell he'd been crying - that in itself would be shocking enough to make her worry - not even his close friends in the band or Carson had seen him like this before. Not even Jess.
"No... everything's not okay," he manages to respond quietly. He leans his head on the open door, not even sure what to say. Ryan knew at little bit about his past - just as much as anyone else did about his conviction. Thankfully, she, along with the others, had accepted him, regardless, believing his claim of innocence. But also like the others, she knew no real details.
Sighing deeply, he looks down, then up again. "I, um..." Biting his lip, he really isn't sure what to say. Backing up, he opens the door wider and nods inside, inviting her in. Shutting the door again, he wanders towards the kitchen once more and leans back against the counter, folding his arms across his chest. He owed Ryan something - anything as an explanation to his unusual behavior.
"My brother's in town." He looks down at the floor, tracing the lines in the tile with the toe of his work boot. Ryan probably didn't even know he had a brother. "He, uh... turned his back on me when I was... put in prison." Finally looking up at Ryan again, he blinks, trying to hold back the tears that were still lingering.
"Today was the first day I've seen him since, and... it didn't go well. I don't think he's gonna stir up trouble, but it was just, um..." He shrugs. "Hard."
Taking a deep breath, he turns so Ryan can't see his face as a rebellious tear escapes once more. "I thought the nightmare... was over."
Hearing her concern after the brief comment about the CD throws him off for just a moment. He'd expected a different kind of reception after she'd probably thought she wouldn't see him again since he hadn't shown up for lunch. But then... if his depressive state was that obvious, frivolity seemed pointless. And maybe the fairytale really was over for her? The gentle touch to his hand though, signals that perhaps it wasn't quite finished just yet.
Finally looking down into her eyes, he sees the sparkle there he'd seen the night before. There was a faint patter in his heart... was there one in hers too? Yet in this moment, all he could do was muster a small smile. The heaviness in his soul outweighed any romantic interests right now.
"I'm okay," he replies quietly, nodding to her. He gestures to the CD. "You can keep that, by the way. A little something to remember me by."
Reaching out, he touches her hair as if making sure she was real, and the faint smile returns. "My brother called," he finally informs. Dropping his hand, he looks back to the rack of music. "It... didn't go well."
He sighs deeply. Why did he even care? He should just let it go and walk away - why could he not?
"I dug too hard too fast, he got offended, we had a few harsh words and he walked out." Quinn shrugs lamely. It had all taken less than ten minutes. "Maybe it really wasn't the plan or the reason for me being here after all." His gaze returns to Anastasia's eyes. "I guess I came back here to let you know I was leaving town. I... thought I could go without saying goodbye but... I just wanted to see you once more."
Axel gets into his apartment and tosses his keys onto the counter. He was trying to keep a lid on all he was feeling but it wasn't going well. Why did Quinn have to come and stir things up? Why couldn't he have just walked away? And why had Axel fallen for going to meet him? He should have known better.
Standing in his kitchen with his arms folded he stares at nothing. His eyes begin to sting and he grits his teeth, but nothing can stop the emotions from spilling out some way or another. It was too quiet here... there were no distractions and nothing to keep himself in check.
The first hot tear rolls down his cheek. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd cried about anything. He was Axel Thornton, Mr. Strong, Mr. Never-show-my-emotions. Though he swiped the tear away with the back of his hand, another one replaces it quickly.
Still standing there lamely as the tears flow, Axel tries to shake it off, but it just didn't work. The pain went far too deeply for him to simply tune it out. Leaning over the sink, his hands brace his weight as the silent tears fall. The nightmare had returned. Everything flashed through his mind from his arrest, to the trial, to the shouting matches with his family, to prison, to his release. All of it was a nightmare - he'd put it all behind him, but now it was thrown in his face once again, and it was just too much to bear right now.
The knock at the door jerks him to attention and he straightens quickly. Hearing Ryan's voice, he sniffs and takes his shirt sleeve to wipe his eyes, willing himself to shut off the waterworks. It was strange that Ryan would come... she didn't normally check on him. They were friends but... maybe she'd sensed there was more than him not feeling well today, especially after his odd behavior yesterday.
Wandering to the door, Axel sets his hand on the knob. Shouldn't it be Jess he should talk to, not Ryan? But then... Jess was at work, and he didn't want to bog her down with any of this stuff anyway. The less she had to worry about, the better as far as he was concerned. At the same time though, did he even want Ryan aware of what was going on?
Taking a deep breath, Axel opens the door. Quiet for a moment, he searches Ryan's face. Even though he hoped he looked fine, he knew that nothing would escape her sharp eyes. And he knew good and well that she'd be able to tell he'd been crying - that in itself would be shocking enough to make her worry - not even his close friends in the band or Carson had seen him like this before. Not even Jess.
"No... everything's not okay," he manages to respond quietly. He leans his head on the open door, not even sure what to say. Ryan knew at little bit about his past - just as much as anyone else did about his conviction. Thankfully, she, along with the others, had accepted him, regardless, believing his claim of innocence. But also like the others, she knew no real details.
Sighing deeply, he looks down, then up again. "I, um..." Biting his lip, he really isn't sure what to say. Backing up, he opens the door wider and nods inside, inviting her in. Shutting the door again, he wanders towards the kitchen once more and leans back against the counter, folding his arms across his chest. He owed Ryan something - anything as an explanation to his unusual behavior.
"My brother's in town." He looks down at the floor, tracing the lines in the tile with the toe of his work boot. Ryan probably didn't even know he had a brother. "He, uh... turned his back on me when I was... put in prison." Finally looking up at Ryan again, he blinks, trying to hold back the tears that were still lingering.
"Today was the first day I've seen him since, and... it didn't go well. I don't think he's gonna stir up trouble, but it was just, um..." He shrugs. "Hard."
Taking a deep breath, he turns so Ryan can't see his face as a rebellious tear escapes once more. "I thought the nightmare... was over."