3/24/10

With you

Giving a nod to the dr. Hope was happy that he agreed and took well to the information understanding as much as he could. Getting Scott help was so important to her and somewhere in his heart it was important to Scott too.

Standing from the chair Hope gives a small smile to Dr. Hawks. He was a very nice man and Hope liked the way he ran things around here. Yes, she was thankful for that.

"Thank you Dr. Hawks. Keep me updated."

Leaving the office Hope continues on her way to Scott's room. Giving a gentil tap on the door being entering. The smile was still on her face as she entered, seeing Scott under the window with the warm sun light shinning on him.

"Hey there Hun. Its a great day out, would you like to go for a walk?"

Hope enters the room more coming close to Scott. His angle prevented her from giving Scott a hug so she draped her arm over his shoulder lightly.

Turning to look at Sparky Faith smiles at him. Searching his face her eyes take everything about him in. Just drinking up the feelings she felt, and the aura that just seemed to follow along with him.

"A little scared, but I am more than ready to go. It looks nice outside today."

Taking Sparky's hand in her own Faith continues to smile she was ready to go home with Sparky and enjoy more time with us. She was lucky to have live, and even better yet have someone like Sparky by her side.

"I'm happy I can enjoy it with you."

Sunshine

Dr. Hawks listens intently to Hope, taking notes and leaning forward with interest, trying to take it all in and trying to understand all these details that seemed unreal but were true.

Once everything is said, Dr. Hawks lets everything settle, nodding slowly. "Yes... just before you came, I had another session with Scott and he was quite angry. He gave me whatfor, but still wasn't getting that anger out of his system. I think he subconsciously replaced fear with anger because it felt safer. And hating someone is safer than forgiving them. It's obvious that he just didn't go through this stage earlier, but with it being this late in the game, it's going to be hard to overcome. I know too, that he's angry for being brought here, so that just feeds those feelings."

He sighs deeply, still thinking. "And you're right... getting him to care is another issue. He says he does... and I know he's not suicidal, but he's not caring enough to take care of himself either. He's wallowing in self-pity and anger as it builds up a protective wall around himself. Most likely he started doing that when all of that Agency data started getting to him - it was his defense and now it took over."

Pausing again, he sets his pencil down. 'Thank you for sharing all of this. I believe it will help greatly. I have a few ideas for some anger management that we can try so we'll see what happens."

He nods, ready to move on. "I think Scott went to his room if you want to see him. I don't know what kind of mood he's in though."


Scott stares at his breakfast that Jenny had left for him. He'd nibbled a little on the orange and toast but that was about it. Now that it had been sitting there for an hour, it was evcen less appealing.

Sinking down on the floor under the window, he wraps his arms around his legs and rests his chin on his knees. There was sunshine today and it felt warm on his shoulders, like a blanket he wanted but could never have. He wanted his own home back. He wanted Domino. He wanted his life back.


"Hey, Sunshine." A smile spreads on Sparky's face as he enters the hospital room, his cowboy hat tilted back and his truck keys jingling as he put them in his pocket.

Easing down on the bed next to Faith, he takes her hand, finding her eyes with him. "You look chipper today. Feeling ready to go?"

Home

Hearing David's voice on the other side of the phone Marge couldn't help but sit up a little straighter. It had been a while since David had been back so now actually hearing his voice was nice.

"Oh yeah I can get that for you no problem. Give me one second to pull up his account here."

Clicking some buttons on the computer Marge looks for Mr. Hans number. Taking a little longer than normal Marge finally finds it.

"Here we go. Its 548-789-6030. Good luck when you talk to him, he was a little upset yesterday. Maybe he's calmed down a little since than."

Making her way through the hospital like she had the last few days Hope path changes a little as she does not go straght to Scott's room but to Dr. Hawks office.

Giving a soft tap on the door Hope waits for her permissions to enter and than does so. Today she had a new renewed energy. Something to grasp onto in order to help Scott.

"Good Morning Dr. Hawk I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time."

Sitting down in one of the chairs across from the Dr. desk Hope folds her hands in her lap. She hoped this information would help him too.

"So, I happened to have a resource of someone who knows about what Scott went through with the Agency and he was about to give me a low down on everything. If you have the time I'd like to share, I think it can help us."

Starting at the beginning of the conversation that Hope had with Alec she tells Dr. Hawks everything she new. Not skating around anything, and just laying it all out. Explaining in some places for the Dr. better when she could see the confused look on his face. Finally after the explanation was over Hope draw to her conclusion of why she was telling him all this.

"So what it comes down to is once we can get Scott's anger uncontrolled, give him a way to physical get everything out when he needs to we have one thing out of the way and can start working on the other. After that we need to help train his mind to suppress all the data and turn it off when he needs to."

Hope was confadint even though she new they still had a long way to go in this road and one thing above everything else she new would be the hardest.

"I think the toughest part is going to be getting Scott to care again though."

Sitting on the edge of the bed as a nurse drew her blood. A small bag was packed and sitting on the floor. For now, and Lord willing this would be the last time she saw this hosp. Sparky would be here soon to pick her up. She was finally going home. From there Angel would take over her care, and keep checking up on her making sure all was well.

"There you go dear. I promise not to take anymore blood from you before you go. You take care of yourself ok? I don't want to see you back in here sick."

The older nurse smiled at Faith sweetly before taking the viles of blood and leaving the room.

Leaning back on the best once she was gone Faith smiled. She still had a long road to recover and it was still hard for her to some normal things without getting tired or dizzy but she was alive, and that alone was something to be happy about.

Anger

David flops down on his bed and ignores his ringing cell phone. Only after he'd heard a voicemail left does he groan and finally listen to it. Flipping his phone shut again he tosses it onto the bedside table and flops his head back into his pillow. He didn't even bother undressing. He'd make a call in the morning. It was late, and he was in no mood to deal with Mr. Hans. The morning... yes... things would look different then. Mr. Hans and Gunner's case...

"Yeah, Marge, it's me." David rubs his face wearily, his headache still pounding in his head. It was early morning, but he had to be up so he could get back to TJY and meet with Angelica again. "I got your message last night. Thanks. My phone's acting up and I can't get to all my contacts so I need Mr. Hans' number to call him back. can you get it for me?"


"When we let ourselves become so emotional, we're only letting them win," Dr. Hawks reminds gently.

"I don't care." Scott slouches in his chair, his arms folded stubbornly. "I hate them."

"It's natural," Dr. Hawks agrees. "But you have to let it go, Scott. It's eating you alive and that's exactly what they'd like to see."

"I don't care."

"Why?"

"Because for what they did to me, they deserve to be hated. Every last one of them. They should get exactly what they did to me." The bitterness in Scott's voice was cold and harsh. "Look, I spent months afraid and hiding in a corner, scared of my own shadow because of them. Now I finally realize how stupid that was. They shouldn't be feared. They should be stamped out and and run through a garbage disposal."

Dr. Hawks raises an eyebrow. "What about those who have changed? Some of your friends used to work for the Agency, right?"

Scott shrugs. "They were still involved in what went on there and there are some things I just can't forgive."

"Then you're giving up on your own heart. Being unforgiving will only prove to make you more bitter every day."

"Look at what they did to me!" Scott gets to his feet and points to the file that sat on Dr. Hawks' desk. "Don't think I don't know that all the information about me is in there. I know how this works. Look at what they did!" The horror made his stomach church again. "Do you know what it's like to be stuffed in a dingy cell with rats as your company? Do you know what it's like to be so disgusted with what you see and feel that all you can do is retch on the floor and sit in your own stench until it doesn't even bother you anymore? How about watching a young woman abused and taken advantage of right in front of your eyes? Or being beaten to a pulp when you refuse to do the same to her?" Tears sting his eyes, his fists balled tightly. "And then watch her die? Yeah... yeah, you really understand what I'm going through."

He shakes his head, his eyes narrowing. "Then try being betrayed by those you trust the most and thrown into a hospital where they want you to get 'better' when all you need is a change of scenery."

Dr. Hawks remains calm. "I know you're angry, Scott. I can't ever imagine what it was like and I can't relate. But I understand the feeling of anger and the feeling of betrayal. And I know that if you hang onto it like you're doing, you're not going to live very long. Because it's more than just being mad. You haven't taken care of yourself, you're not eating and you're sick. And worst of all, you don't care." He shakes his head slowly. "And I know that you're not happy with that and there's a part of you that wants to feel better."

"You don't know anything," Scott hisses. Taking control of his own time, he spins on his heel and stalks from the office, letting the door slam shut behind him. Stuffing his hands into his hoodie pockets, he keeps his shoulders slouched and his head down, aiming back for his room.

Left alone, Dr. Hawks sighs. Scott would shout at him, but he always walked away before he really let his emotions show through. He would tell bits and pieces but would always stop before really getting down to the nitty gritty. And he liked being angry because it kept him from being scared... kept him feeling in control. And from what Dr. Hawks could tell, Scott wanted to feel better, but at the same time, he'd rather be miserable so he had a reason to hide. What would help?

Unexspected phone call

Just wrapping her arms around Reese and resting her head on his chest Angelica listens to the beating of his heart. It was soft, and very soft rhythm to it defiantly a lulling sound.

"Coffee sounds good. I'd like that a lot."

Pulling away just a little from Reese Angelica continues to smile. All the feelings she had, were on the surface now, and she didn't need to hide them. It left a smile on her face that could not be taken off to easily.

"Let me just grab my jacket, and the paper work I'll need to bring to Gunner tomorrow and we can go."

Holding the phone in her hand Marge just looks at the number she had typed in. David was out of town and she always new what to say to his cilants when they needed him but tonight, tonight she wanted to call him and ask. Was it just to hear his voice, or was it that Mr. Hans was that persuasive on wanting to talk to David sooner than allowed.

Finally hitting the send button Marge waits as the phone rings her own hands seemed to sweat a little as she waited. But after the few few rings the voice mail picked up and her heart sank just a little. He was probably would with Angelica tonight, those two had always been inseparable. How could she ever compete with someone as pretty at her?

Shaking her head Marge remember why she had called David to start with pushing away her own lonely feeling.

"Hi David, sorry to call you while you were away but...I...just want to..."

Marge pauses for a moment the words on her lips, but the courage just not there.

"...let you know Mr. Hans came into the office today and was pretty upset. I tried to tell him when you would be back but he didn't want to listen. I don't know if you will have time to give him a quick call and maybe explain some things to him or not but he was pretty upset."

Holding her cup in her hand Marge walks into the kitchen placing it in the sink before continuing back to the couch and sitting down.

"Anyways I know it's late so I'll let you go. I hope your case is going well and you can come home soon. We miss you."

What she really wanted to say was I miss you, but she couldn't. The words wouldn't come out and she's had dropped hints before that she likes him but he had his sights set on one woman already.

"Have a good night David."

Hanging up the phone Marge sets it down before leaning back on the couch. Her Soap operas were on, they would keep her company for now as she dreamed of a day when maybe she wouldn't be so lonely.

Treat

A loving smiles curls Reese's lips and he leans in close to kiss Angelica tenderly once more. Then he pulls her into a strong hug, letting her head rest against his chest. He was ready too.

"What do you say we go out for a late night cup of coffee? My treat?"


David sighs and swirls the ice around in his glass once more before downing the rest of the strong drink. Two was his limit. This had been three.

Swiveling in his seat at the hotel's bar, he looks to the corner where a couple sat, speaking quietly and smiling... making eyes at each other. They looked so happy. Not lonely. David sighs again. It was quiet in here tonight... it was getting late and he needed to head up to his room. He needed a clear head in the morning whether he wanted it or not.

Move on, stupid. Quit moping. You knew she didn't have feelings for you, so you shouldn't be so disappointed. Buck up. Get your butt moving, finish this case and get back to California where you belong.

He smirks at his little mind game. No one else would find out about this disappointment. Tomorrow, things went back to normal. Giving himself a nod, he stands up and tosses his money on the counter before heading to the elevator. Better that than the stairs. He felt just a little light-headed.

Journy, story

Angelica's own cheeks turn a little bit red and she realized that Reese had over herd her talking with David. Though a part of her was embarrassed, another part was releaved knowing he new it was true.

Just continuing to look up into Reese eyes Angelica felt his light touch on her skin and it made her tingle all over. His touch was so warm and inviting, it made her feel like she was so special, and so safe. Something she never though possible to feel with a man before. It had always been about taking care of her and not letting herself chance getting close but something about Reese had pulled her in and broke down her walls.

"You have always been perfect the way you are amor, and thats why I feel for you. Because you never tried to go over bored and impress me, you were just...you."

Leaning her head into Reese hand Angelica moves her head up and down slightly loving the feel oh his skin against hers. Continuing to look up into his eyes, she own big brown eye sparkled with the new emotions, they danced with the feelings she felt, this was what she had been missing, but what she now found.

"Now we both can let go of our shadows and cling to whats real. I'm ready."

Running her own finger along Reese jaw line she mapped his face, bringing her finger up to his eye where the moisture had formed, gently whipping the wetness away. Her fingers just continuing to linger as his face as she smile grew.

Leaning into Kip a little bit Karla laughs. The energy in the room was great, and it just seemed to feed her excitement even more. A little spring in her step as she followed Kip Karla kept her arm around him.

Wrapping her arms around Kyle Alice gives him the warm hug back. She was so excited and though they had a long way to go still his was a great start.

"How about we go see what kind of deal they got for you guy huh?"

Scrunching her nose a little Alice holds her hand out to Kyle. This was there journey, together..with friend they met along the way. There journey, there story, this was there time.

...until now

Reese is taken by surprise as Angelica draws so near. Though they often both worked late, usually it was on separate projects, so even if they were two of the very few in the building, they sometimes didn't even cross paths.

He leans his face into her hand a little, looking into her eyes with a bit of puzzlement, mixed with the strangest gaze of admiration. Being drawn into her kiss, his arms automatically slide around her, his hands resting lovingly on her back as he returns the sweet gesture.

Though she pulled back, he didn't let her go far, his arms still around her. Hearing her words, it's without warning that moisture reflects in his eyes. "I... I wasn't sure if I believed you," he admits quietly. A little bit of color comes to his face. He'd overheard her and David. Though he hadn't seen them kiss, he had heard his plea for her to go with him and he'd heard her answer. "What you told David was... I mean, I..."

He swallows hard and moves one of his hands to run it down Angelica's face, his thumb tracing over her lips and jawline. "I feel so undeserving," he finally manages softly. "I haven't... it's been a long time." Why he felt like he was falling to pieces now, he wasn't so sure. He was just as glad that they were the only ones on the dim main floor at the moment. "I haven't been told I was loved by a woman since Wyatt's mom."

A part of his heart was still clinging to the past, while another part was clawing its way to the surface, begging for him to allow himself to be loved again. Looking down into Angelica's eyes, he searches for the truth in her words. Tonight was not a night he had been prepared for this barrage of emotions. They were emotions that he usually only let show when he was alone at night with no one else to see. No one ever saw him stare blankly out the window, overcome in total loneliness on the rainy days. No one ever saw the tears run down his face as he flipped through old photo albums, his heart yearning for the love that had been taken from him. No one ever saw him dance in the dark to an old song, his arms around an invisible shadow that only his heart could see.

"I miss it." His words are choaked out as he fights for control. It shouldn't have been hard. He felt rather foolish for this display, but it seemed he couldn't help it. "I hide behind my work because I'm afraid... I'm afraid to let go of the things that have become shadows because I've clung to them for so long."

"If I ever I die, Mike, don't spend your life in loneliness."

"What a morbid topic. Pass me the popcorn."

"I mean it... please, I'm serious."

"Alright... but... why now?"

"Because these times with you are so special. I'd never trade them for the world and they make me feel like nothing else... and I know you feel the same."

"I do."

"So I don't want you to miss out on these times if I was ever gone."

"It's still morbid. We've only been married six months."

"Promise me, Mike. Promise if something ever happens that you'll move on. You deserve it."

Reese's eyes seem to come back from a journey that had only taken a split second, yet had taken him so very far away. He focuses on Angelica again, a new resolve forcing him to begin letting go. "And I've been afraid to love you. I know I haven't done all the things maybe you want... and I haven't gone out of my way enough times to show you I care. I was just... afraid. But Angelica..."

His other hands comes up to cradle the other side of her face. "...you've proven the impossible. That this heart can love again. I was just too afraid to admit it... until now."


Kip laughs and gives Karla back a big hug. "Woohoo! World, here we come!" Without thinking, he gives Karla a kiss on the forehead with a loud, "Mwah! You are going to be a fantastic manager!"

Kyle turns his head to Alice, a smile spreading as his eyes twinkled. For once, he wasn't dancing around with the others or being silly. He was too overcome. "We still got a long way to go," he mentions. "They may like us, but they may not have a spot for us."

Straightening up, he pulls Alice into a hug and kisses her head. "But we made it the first leg of the race... we did it... and that includes you. Without you, I never would be here right now."

Scared Teen

A feeling of releaf washed over Angelica seeing David wasn't making a big deal out of this but she couldn't help feeling a little bad for him.

Giving a small smile and a nod Angelica couldn't help but be happy to move on, this feeling was new to her about letting someone down and it didn't feel to good.

"You've always been my favorite partner as well. I'll see you tomorrow David."

Once left alone in the room Angelica just sits there for a long moment looking down at her paper work. David had said he had left hints and now she was turning him away. Was her own dream, or love for another returned? Angelica didn't know for sure because they both often worked so much but she wondered anyways. Would she rather find out now than wait?

Standing from her desk and leaving her paperwork for now Angelica opens the door David had closed part of the way on his way out. Stepping out and seeing Reese Angelica couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips. Just from seeing him her heart already raced.

Closing the space between them Angelica wasn't sure what compelled her own actions tonight. Was it late? Was it the realization that she did have strong feeling for Reese she didn't know but she couldn't be stopped now.

Drawing so close to Reese she could smell his aftershave. Not saying anything for a moment Angelica looking deep into his eyes her own twinkle. Bringing a hand to the side of his face she runs her thumb over his cheek.

"Excuse me for a moment, I need...to see something."

Drawing close to Reese Angelica's lips brush his, than press softly to his own, her warmth and passion soaking through as the feelings in her stomach grew, and her heart raced. Letting the moment linger Angelica pulled away her voice a soft whisper.

"I was right..I do love you Mike Reese."

After her words are out Angelica bits her bottom lip just a little like a scared teenager who just asked out her true love. Would she be the one turned away now?

Casual

Seeing the look in Angelica's eye and hearing her words, David's hand slowly slides from her face, his shoulders dropping slightly. Sitting back a little more to give her more space, a small smile comes to his lips and he shakes his head.

"No... no, you never led me on, Angelica. I guess it was always just an unattainable dream of mine that I should have let go a long time ago when I saw you weren't interested. It's not your fault - it's mine." Now it was he who felt foolish. "I'm sorry." His smile widens. "You'll always have been my favorite partner though."

Turning back to the table, he gathers up his papers and puts them in his briefcase, standing, ready to leave for the night. "I'm going to head back to the hotel," he mentions casually, totally leaving behind what had just happened between them. "I'll see you in the morning over at the jail to meet with Gunner."