Slipping

Quinn sits back as he continues to listen, recognizing the peace and understanding with which Anastasia spoke. It had been a long time since he'd had such a conversation with anyone. It was more than surface - more than just gab and words off the top of someone's head. He was finally talking to someone on the same plane as he, who understood the correct belief system and ways in which a Christian should think and act. Refreshing as it was though, it didn't take away the sting.

"Ouch." Quinn half-smiles, but her words really were painful. They were reminding him not to judge. And even if necessary and gentle, it was still like a short kick upside the head.

Shifting to the side, he scoots back to lean against the wall and put both feet up on the booth. His one hand still wraps around his coffee cup as his eyes roam the coffee shop again. Oops, there were five paintings, not four. For a moment, he remembers when he and Axel used to see who could remember the most in twenty seconds. They usually had a tie.

"So... whether or not there's another side to the story... judgment doesn't belong to me, does it..."

He sighs and takes another sip of coffee. It wasn't as if that was a new concept. He'd known it all along. But sometimes it just took an extra reminder from someone different to actually have it sink in.

Words come without him thinking through them first. "Maybe finding out he's innocent is what's really the most scary. Then I'd feel the fool for having turned my back on him and then realizing that I was the guilty one."

Turning to look at Anastasia, it was apparent that whether he realized it or not, he himself was afraid of receiving that same rejection from his brother that he had dished out seven years ago.

His insides churned slightly and a chill runs down his spine. He looks back to the abstract painting on the far wall and sips his coffee again. There was a voice within him that he'd been trying to ignore all day, but it was only becoming louder. And he knew in his heart of hearts why he was here now.

Glancing down, then back to Anastasia, he studies her eyes for several quiet moments before he speaks again. "Every fiber of my being is telling me that Axel is the reason I stopped in town today. But God knew I wouldn't listen to a whisper so he had me forget where the hotel was so I'd end up at the Disco O Round." It was obvious now.

A wry grin comes to his mouth and he shakes his head, lifting his coffee cup. "To the Mastermind who's had me again, and to those who are willing to speak for him when a heart hasn't been listening... Thanks, Anastasia."

Taking another swig, his eyes regain their sparkle. "You ever tend bar or anything?" he teases. She'd been a good listener, that was for sure.


Katie... Babe, I need you...

Jason lies curled up at one end of the couch, emotions churning. The living room was dark, the house quiet - it was late. He knew Katie was probably trying to go to bed, but he also knew that she would be more upset if he didn't call on her.

Ever since earlier in the day, Jason had been struggling to keep a lid on his emotions. It all reverted back to his brief remembrance of Alex and his abduction. He wouldn't have changed what he said to Destiny... he wouldn't have done anything differently because what he had said had been true, and that was the one thing that had helped them connect this morning. Unfortunately, his emotions had latched on as soon as he'd opened that door only half an inch.

He'd tried to keep control over everything going on inside of him, and he'd been successful almost all day. He and Destiny had had an enjoyable time at the mall without incident, and he'd even seen her laugh once, even if it had been brief. The rest of the day had been quiet, and supper had been spent in front of the television until both had parted ways for the night. It was only afterward that Jason had begun to really struggle.

All day, he'd kept enough control not to alert Katie, other than telling her he was a bit agitated was all. When he'd thrown up his supper though, he'd had to tell her that he was struggling, but he'd assured her he would be fine - it was just a little flareup.

An hour later and it had only grown worse. Jason had tried to keep his emotions quiet enough not to disturb Katie, but it had only made things worse, and now he knew that he needed her here or things would turn into a mess. He didn't want to scare Destiny - that was his main concern. His second concern was Katie and the pain she would experience along with him. And his third concern was about himself. It had been a long time since he'd had an episode, but like Rick had told him just recently, no matter how often Jason let off steam, there would always be some amount of buildup that would eventually be set off and erupt - most likely he would deal with periodic flareups and flashbacks for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, today Jason had provided the conduit himself by purposely bringing up the past.

A bead of sweat trickles down the side of Jason's face and his hands tremble. Widening the flow just a little bit, he allows Katie to now feels a small portion of what he was going through so she would understand, but he couldn't open everything up now - she needed to get here first, and he needed to maintain control until she did, lest she have an accident on the way from the trauma.

It's my memories... Alex... it's been trying to come back all day. I thought I could get it to dissolve but it hasn't worked. My emotions are going haywire and I can't stop them.

He needed Katie near... needed her touch so he didn't cause damage around him. He could feel the first wave coming.

I'm slipping, Katie...

He fought the flashback with all his might. He couldn't slip before she got here... he couldn't. His emotions became desperate - a silent whimper for help.

Please...