Not lonely

"Mm, it's a pretty quiet day as far as I'm concerned." Chance turns back to his computer and types a few things. "I gotta go to TJY at some point and get some info... otherwise though, you're calling the shots. I'm just the watchdog."

He grins a little. "The only thing I don't do is bark."


Seeing the look that passes on Beth's face as she falters, Justin cringes on the inside, thought he doesn't let it show. "Well, I wouldn't want you stuffed too full after having already eaten," he teases, totally bypassing her comment about her mother for her sake.

Lowering the bag of sandwiches, he offers a warm smile. "I don't wanna make you late. Take care, Beth."

Giving her a little farewell nod, he backs off, aiming for a nearby bench. Sitting down, he sighs a little before opening the bag and taking out one of the sandwiches. Beth seemed to be the type of person who was hurting, yet held everyone at arm's length. Not that she should trust Justin - they were practically strangers. But she'd seemed to want to accept his offer, yet had refused. The sorrow behind her gaze hadn't gone unnoticed.

Justin takes a bit of his sandwich, not paying much attention to how much he enjoyed the taste. Beth came here every day to see her sister, who didn't even talk. This was a mental facility. Her sister must have gone through some pretty severe trauma at some point. Beth had said she had no other family, and had just now mentioned the passing of her mother. She was sad her mother was gone though, indicating that had been a good relationship. Where was their father? Dead also? Was there a connection between those deaths and the current situation? Or were they simply distanced from their father, not including him when speaking of family ties?

Realizing how far his mind was taking him, Justin shakes his head, trying to stop. He had a few pieces, but not all of them, so there really was no point in trying to fit them together. Not to mention, it really was none of his business.

But he'd seen pain in Beth and if there was one thing Justin sought after in life, it was soothing others' pain. Sometimes it led to him pushing people when he shouldn't. Sometimes it led to his own heartache when people refused to let him in. Sometimes it led to him getting himself in trouble when he saw pain that a person refused to let go of and move on even though they knew how - which was why he was practically jobless now. But despite all the negative factors, he couldn't remove that God-given passion. It was his strength, which in turn made it his weakness.

Justin digs in his backpack for his can of fruit juice to accompany his sandwich. He'd sit here for a while and let his stomach settle, then head to town to pick up some groceries. Glancing around the grounds, he studies the buildings and the trees, diverting his mind to things of nature so he didn't contemplate issues to which he had no answers.

Several hours later...

"You look tired. You want to stay and rest a while?"

"Naw, I gotta go. I just wanted to drop off these groceries."

"Did you eat your lunch?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Justin...?"

"Yeah, Ma! I ate. Sandwiches were good."

"You're so skinny. You need to eat more."

"Ma... I try to look this way, ya know? Healthy."

Justin's mother eyes him suspiciously before moving about the kitchen to put things away. "I talked to Ranee today."

Justin's head shoots up from the magazine he was reading at the counter. "What did she want?"

"I don't know. Does she need to want something to call the woman who was almost her mother-in-law?"

Justin's eyes narrow. "Hardly."

"She's so sweet." She continues talking while her head is bent into the refrigerator. "I don't understand why you let her go."

"Ma, we've been over this a hundred times. Let it go." Justin closes the magazine and wanders to the fruit basket to grab an apple. "She was suffocating me."

His mother sighs and comes up to him, her eyes full of pity. "I know." She puts a hand to his face, looking up at him. "I just feel so bad you are lonely. You need a good woman in your life."

Justin humors her with a grin and a pat to the arm. "I'm not lonely. I like my life. I'm happy."

"With two dogs for company?"

"They're good dogs."

"But do they talk back? Support you? Travel with you and share their lives with you?"

Justin sighs and bites into his apple. "I gotta go."

"So soon?"

"Work."

"Oh, did that job come through?"

"No, I never called them."

"Well, how can you expect to get a job if you don't even call them?"

"I don't want to work for the city. They don't like me and I don't like them."

"But what about all the people that-"

"I got a temporary job at Brookshire and that's enough."

"But you were so good at being a counselor and-"

"Ma." Justin sets his hands on his mother's shoulders and bends to look her in the eye. "I'm not going back into that system. I can't take the policies and politics. I like helping people but it's just gonna have to be some other way. I don't have the money or gumption to get back into school so for now I'll take the tidbits from Brookshire. It's enough. Really... I'm fine."

Worry shines in her eyes but she gives up for now. "What about money? Are you doing okay?"

Justin smiles. "I'm fine. Now... you gonna let me go?"

His mother chuckles softly. "I suppose so. Call me about Sunday - don't forget."

"I won't forget." Justin gives a short wave as he heads for the door.

"Aunt Gracie will be disappointed if you don't come!" she hollers after him.

"I won't forget!"