Hope

Oh, but when... when? Alec cocks his head as Ryan's lips brush his ear, twisting until his head was down further to kiss her neck. As she draws away though, he lets her go, whatever sense he had left telling him he should.

His eyes catch hers again and though his face seems to lack expression, his gaze holds a million thoughts, all revolving around a set of emotions that had risen out of their dormant depths. Leaning on the doorway, he watches Ryan leave until she's out of sight. He suddenly realizes he's been holding his breath, and he lets it out slowly, tilting his head to rest against the wall. Where on earth had he just been?

Like a curtain lifting on a scene, it's as if Alec begins to think about what just happened, coming back to reality from a daze. What had he just done? What had possessed him and why in the world had he just let himself do that?!

Blinking with confusion over his own self, he turns and wanders to his cot, flopping down to lie on his back. He had to be crazy. Absolutely crazy. He didn't even know why he'd kissed Ryan in the first place. Maybe he'd just wanted to thank her. Maybe because he'd been wanting to do it since day one - she was an incredibly attractive woman. What man wouldn't want to kiss her? Maybe it was because she was starting to draw out the inner feelings that had been buried and he didn't have any other way to express them. Maybe it was as simple as the mysterious and enticing pull she had on him.

Alec stares at the ceiling, replaying everything in his mind over and over again. She had returned his kisses, no doubt. He knew she'd enjoyed them as much as he. A warm tingle spreads through him with just that thought.

And under it all, something had begun to rise to the surface. He had felt again. He had felt the warmth of emotions that he thought were too far gone for him to ever feel again. He had felt something for Ryan other than a physical attraction. And he had felt something in return when she had responded willingly. And it felt... good.

Rolling over, Alec stands up and begins to pace. This had started a whole new and unexpected chain of events in his mind. These thoughts, these feelings... it didn't make sense, but it was there. It felt almost as if something was signaling daybreak in his soul... a soul that had been in the dark of night for over six years.

Grabbing a nearby pen and pad of paper, Alec's hand hovers over the lines. No... he couldn't. Just because of one kiss? What was he thinking? He sets the pen down and paces again, but soon he is right back there again. His jaw muscles tighten and relax, tighten and relax. His fingers grip the pen until he throws it back down, walking in circles all over again. And once more, he returns, the paper still blank, the pen in his hand. He had to be absolutely nuts. But maybe... just maybe... there really was something bigger here. And for once, an additional emotion wriggles its way up out of the depths: hope.

Growling at his own indecision, Alec throws caution into the wind and begins to write. And he doesn't stop until hours and a half a pad of paper later.


"Noooo!" Leo throws the empty bowl of popcorn over his head, sending it flying behind the couch and near the kitchen. "How could it end like that?!"

Eli stares at the television screen, throwing his arms up in the air. "They totally left the movie hanging! That's not fair!"

Smirking, Leo sighs. "So much for that. Good thing Ryan didn't stick around. She woulda hated this thing."

"I think you're right." Eli grins. "Except she probably would have thrown that bowl at the tv and we'd be getting a new present for Christmas."

Leo quirks an eyebrow. "We could have a replay of the bowl if you really did have your heart set on that flat screen."

Laughing, Eli shakes his head. "I'd like to live another day, thank you." Yawning, he stretches and glances up at the clock. "She's late. Go figure. I'm hungry."

"Dude, we just stuffed ourselves and then snacked during the movie."

"And your point is...?" Eli grins. "It's Christmas! A day to stuff 'til your burst, didn't you know that? McKade tradition." Standing up, he stretches again. "If my sister doesn't show up in fifteen minutes, I'm gonna go down to TJY and knock somebody's head through a wall."

Leo lifts his eyebrows. "Or you could call her cell."

"And.... what would be the fun in that?" Eli trots to the kitchen where there was pie waiting on the counter. "Ryan didn't say we couldn't have a piece yet did she?"

"Well..." Leo gets up and joins Eli, staring at the pie. "I think she said it was for 'later.'"

"Later as in... later than when she made the statement, or later as in later tonight?" Eli ponders a moment before grabbing a knife. "What am I talking about? I don't care what the definition of later is."


Domino perks up as she sees Hope's plate being lowered to the floor. Wriggling with excitement at more good food, she trots over and immediately begins to clean the plate, pausing only to look up as she receives a pat to the head, as if she was saying thank you. It didn't last long though as she returns to devouring the turkey and loudly licking up any leftover gravy she could find.

Scott's chuckles and shakes his head. "I don't know why you're thanking me but for what it's worth... you're welcome."

Rising from the table, he goes to Hope and holds out his hand, leading her to the little living room before sinking down on the couch. Sitting in the corner, he brings Hope into his arms, leaning her back against his chest with his arms around her and resting his head on her shoulder. Closing his eyes, he tries to push the negative feelings from his mind. This was supposed to be a happy day. He was trying to hard not to think about his conflict with Sapphire, or the Agency. It was hard though.

Carson had confirmed that it was simply going to take time as far as the Agency was concerned. He'd told Scott that there was no way to reverse the assimilation and that Scott's brain just needed to chill. but it would take time. He explained it by comparing it to eyes seeing a single glowing light bulb, while the brain registered seeing a hundred strobe lights. When Scott would see or hear something that triggered information he had, his brain was pulling it all up at once whether he wanted it to or not, and it was basically overwhelming his brain. Thankfully, Carson had been confident that with time, Scott would be able to conquer the automatic response and retrain his brain to only pull up that information when he wanted it to - not on its own or unexpectedly. The anger however... that was something different altogether and would take just as much willpower to overcome.

Scott buries his head a little further into Hope's shoulder, holding her just a little tighter. "You know you're my lifeline," he whispers. And she was. With all that going on inside of him, she was the one thing that was keeping him sane. He just needed to focus on now and quit thinking about everything else. He hadn't yet told Hope about how he was struggling with the Agency thoughts and anger issues. But she was there and that in itself brought at sliver of peace.