Losing It

Jason looks down into Misty's eyes, a little surprised to hear she hadn't been going to church. It made sense - if he were her, he probably wouldn't have wanted to go either, for several reasons. He felt badly now though, having never even thought to bring up the subject. He should have.

"Well... I know that Carson hasn't been going." He'd heard that from a couple different people. "But regardless, I'd love to go with you." Only now had he even thought about the fact that Katie would be back at their own church on Sunday - and he wasn't quite sure how to handle that one either. Going with Misty would kill more than two birds with one stone.

Squeezing Misty tightly, Jason plants another kiss on top of her head before smiling again. "Have I told you tonight that you look beautiful?"


Though hearing and seeing Victoria approach, Garret doesn't move. One might think he was asleep... or worse. But as she kneels in front of him, his eyes finally lower from the sky, coming to rest on her own gaze. She was worried. Even in the dark he could see it. He couldn't blame her either - not after his outburst earlier today, then his senseless ramblings.

Searching her moonlit face, his focus drifts over her delicate features, memorizing the way she looked right now. Soft. Elegant. Concerned.

Reaching out, he takes her hand, lifting it to his lips to kiss before he responds to her in a quiet voice. "I'm here in body, but my mind wants to remain in a faraway place where there are no walls... no violence... no dictators. A place where you and I are free to live and love the way we want, without hiding in the shadows. That's where my mind is. Can you blame it for being so far away?"

Keeping her hand in his, he leans back against the tree and closes his eyes, sighing deeply. "Do you remember Cory Ryerson?" He knew she would. He'd been a hired thug who liked to come here whenever he could and play bigshot. Always a pain, but, unfortunately, good at his job, which was why Medridge had kept him around. "I killed him this morning. Medridge thinks it was the other side that did it. I just... snapped."

His eyes open once more, looking back up at the moon. "I think I'm losing it, Victoria."

Back to me

To: Hunter
From: Katie

I might not be there but you can still lean on me.
I'm supporting your 100% and will keep cheering
you on. Keep up the good work I want to see you 
again soon.

Smiling back up at Jason Misty was happy that at least something good had come from both there situations. She wasn't sure if this was how it was meant to be or not but at the moment it was what they both needed and it was perfect. Being able to just love each other like they had always wanted to instead of letting it stay tucked away in silence was nice.

   "I have to admit I am kind of happy too. Everything happens for a reason right? I guess we found ours."

Leaning up a little Misty leans into Jason and press her lips to his. At least the both could find a little bit of comfort in there bad situations. They had each other to lean on and to love, and grow with. It was just a nice feeling.

   "Would you like to go to church with me Sunday? I haven't gone since Carson left and I kind of miss it. I just...dont want to be alone if he's there too and I'd love for you to come with me."

Leaving her grandfather's office Victoria new even less now than when she'd gone in. He was still pretty heated and her intention and excuse was to comfort him by trying to set up another ball, or a dinner having all his business associates gather. Really though she was trying to peace together what had happened today and had failed. Maybe she'd never know what happened but as long as Garret would be ok thats what mattered to her.

Quielty slipping out into the night it was easy to get by anyone. She'd changed before dinner into one of her darker dress. Slipping past the camers, and past the guards Victoria finally makes it to her safe haven. It wasn't that anyone would think it was odd she was there but if Garret had shown up before her than they would have found it strange.

The moon lite up the area enough so Victoria could see though her eyes sight at night had become better over the years so she didn't need much. Seeing Garret sitting by the tree she slowly walks over before kneeling on the ground in front of him.

   "You're here tonight but you seem so many miles away. Will you come back to me?"

Lost

Although the rose garden was not private, Garret wasn't too surprised when Victoria shows up. He knew half the property had probably heard the fight. Sitting up straight, his eyes remain downcast, focusing on the stones that made up the path through the garden. Feeling Victoria's hand in his, he curls his fingers around hers as a silent gesture of affection.

"My shoulder will be okay," he responds softly, his voice strained with mixed emotions. "It's not too bad. I'll go get it taken care of, soon as I cool down."

Letting his jaw muscles work out some of his tension, he's quiet again for several moments. "Yeah... heated is a good word. He won't execute me yet though - at least I don't think so. If he does, he'll at least be rid of one more thorn in his side." He shakes his head. "Five men dead - two were ours. Three men wounded, including me. And for what? A little more money? A little more power?" Its takes restraint to keep his tone quiet so as not to alert anyone to their presence here. What he'd just said wasn't the half of it though. There was more. A lot more.

"I blamed Medridge's plan... but it wasn't him. It was me. I told him there was a flaw - that things went wrong. But it was me that was the flaw." But it hadn't just been an innocent mistake. It hadn't been a misinterpretation of plans. That's what Medridge and the others would be told, and what they would believe. But Garret knew the truth. And it was too dangerous to even tell Victoria.

Finally turning his head to look at her, his eyes catch hers, falling into her gaze and wishing beyond hope that one day they'd awake from this terrible nightmare to find a life of peace and freedom. "If you ever get word that I'm a traitor, you deny ever having known me more than an acquaintance. I'll not have you hang with me." Though he whispered, his tone indicated how serious he was. But why he might be accused of such a thing, he would not say.

Without warning, his hand moves behind Victoria's head, pulling her closer to him while he also leans in to close the gap. His kiss was quick, but it was deep... passionate... rough. It wasn't the same gentle affection he usually showed.

Letting her go abruptly, he stands up and heads down the path to exit the garden...

...It would be many hours later, after the moon had risen, that Garret would be seen again. Tucked away in the safety of their hiding place, he waits, not knowing if Victoria would come or not. He didn't sit on the swing tonight though... seated on the ground beneath the tree, fallen leaves and pine needles created a soft bed. Leaned back against the rough bark, his eyes were lifted to the sky, searching the moon for anything that was beyond these walls. Though now cleaned up and having gained an hour or two of sleep, there was a new weariness about him. A new kind of despair. He had tempted fate today and had lost.


To: Katie
From: Hunter
Feeling pretty good. Ive been putting a
little weight on my leg and it hurts but
not quite as bad as I expected. Only
prob is I dont have u to lean on! Idk
yet when Ill actually be able to get on
my bike but hoping soon.


Looking to the side at Misty, Jason purses his lips in thought. "Yeah... maybe. I just don't even know what to say to her. I mean, who's to say anything has changed? Last I knew, she thought I was a liar and not worth sticking around for. If that's still the case, I'm not so sure I really can work with her. If she doesn't trust me, we'd make a poor team anyway."

Sighing deeply, Jason wished he could figure out what he was feeling. It had been so much easier lately to tell what his emotions were, that he'd been feeling as normal as he had in a very long time. But right now, what he was feeling was too mixed up to try and decipher. Then again... no matter how normal he was, if his emotions were this messed up, maybe anybody would have a hard time figuring it out.

Leaning down and cocking his head, Jason gives Misty's lips a long tender kiss before pulling back again. "Whether it's been a rocky road or not though, at least one good thing has come out of all this." He gives her a smile. Finally being able to allow their natural fondness grow was what was keeping him sane.

Try Talking?

Leaning into Jason Misty wasn't paying much attachen to the movie. Listening to Jason talk about his day and how strange it was, was far more important to her at the moment. She new he'd had a rough day with Katie being back and it made him feel odd she wondered though if deep down it was because he still had feelings for her. If he did Misty wouldn't blame him.

   "Sorry the day was so rough on you. I saw her a little bit this morning and she'd said hi and congrats but that was really it. Even that was a bit strange."

Shifting a little bit Misty repositions herself so she could look up at Jason and see his face better. She love to snuggle with him the only bad thing she couldn't look at him and he was way to handsome to not do that once in a while.

   "Maybe if it gets two awkward you can try sitting down and talking to Katie? It might take some of the tension away?"

Laying in her room and just looking out the window and at the sky Katie lets out a small sigh. The day had been long and strange but she had survived. What she'd really like to do it watch a movie or something with Hunter to calm down, but she guess that would have to wait.

To: Hunter
From Katie:

I did make it through the day. I think I got caught
up on all the paper work too. Sapphire did a 
good job while I was gone. Maybe tomorrow I can
do something a little more exciting.

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Yeah Mick is pretty great. He's been though lots
and I think its really helped him before a little more
softer.

To: Hunter
From: Katie

I miss him too. On your way back pack him in your
bag ok? Ohhh your knee is healing...very nice. That
means you can come home soon! How are you
feeling about it?

Hearing the shouting, the argument, tempers flaring Victoria cringed at every noise, and shout she heard. It was not normal for something like this to happen, for there to be a shouting match in this house. It broke many rules, and for most it would mean the end of everything. There employment, this fantasy, of life. Hearing the bang of the door she hurrys to her window and watches as Garret makes his way to the garden. It wasn't there normal place to meet, and it would be slightly dangerous but she had to see what was going on. She'd just have to use a little craft.

Gathering a vase, and a part of flower snipers Victoria head's out to the garden letting one of the guards know she was going to be cutting some flowers if anyone was looking for her. It was something simple but it would do the trick, and believable.

Wandering around the flowers and picking some here and some there placing them in the vase Victoria finally comes to where Garret is sitting and picks a few roses before sitting down next to him and arranging them in the vase just not able to get them right.

   "Sounds like things got a little heated in there. Something must have really gone wrong to have you headed enough to lose your head and yell at my grandfather like that."

Softening a little Victoria's hand slips over to Garret's as she holds it for a moment giving it a tiny squeeze. As the days when by it seemed to get harder and harder to keep her feelings locked away, to not want to run to him no matter the time, and to tell him how she felt with anyone around. It just didn't seem fare and she wondered would it even be different?

   "Is your shoulder ok? You should probley get it looked at just to make sure no infection starts....I'm happy your back too...I missed you more this time than the last."
  

Darkness of Insanity

Jason sighs and leans back a little more in the couch, keeping his arm tucked around Misty. He'd suggested his place tonight - mainly because he wanted her all to himself for a while. The day had been insane, and they hadn't even been able to grab lunch together. Finally alone at his place, his body was exhausted while his mind was still racing. 

They'd picked a movie they'd both seen, so talking during it didn't bother either one of them. A big bowl of popcorn sat almost empty on the coffee table, Trooper keeping his eye on hit, but resisting the urge to beg. 

"It was really weird seeing Katie today," he admits quietly. "I know I shouldn't be upset anymore, but all of a sudden it was like I was getting the knife in my heart again and it just made me mad. I know Reese is gonna end up putting us together on cases again though and I'm just not sure how to handle it." 

Hunter lies on his back in bed, holding up his phone to type a text. It was late - later than planned, getting to bed. But he'd thoroughly enjoyed his evening. Hanging out with Mick and Rosetta and BJ had been so much fun and so relaxing. Then later it had ended up just being him and Mick sitting and talking for a very long time at the kitchen table. They had discussed everything from the ranch's history, the Henson-Pent clan, to Hunter's own past, to racing, to God. It had felt... good... to talk to someone like Mick about some of those things. Some of those tough subjects. He was easy to talk to and never seemed to hold any judgment against Hunter either. Even when Hunter had admitted being fearful that he'd become dependent on alcohol, Mick had been encouraging, not judgmental.

To: Katie

From: Hunter

Hey Babe. Did u survive the day? I had

a good evening tonight. One of the best.

The only thing missing here is u. 

Otherwise, it would be perfect. 

To: Katie

From: Hunter

Micks the greatest - just sayin. 

To: Katie

From: Hunter

Ur dad misses u but seems to be doing 

well. I saw him riding today. Oh & 

Angel says my knee is healing well. Get 

to start weaning off crutches. Go me.

Not all words could be clearly understood as they came from behind the closed door, but anyone on the first three floors of the house could hear the heated argument as the two men's voices were raised an anger. 

"If you ever... I will... and you... ever again!"

"...stupid! ...endangered... I will not..."

"...my authority! ....dare you... service... don't care if... will be enforced!"

"I don't care! ...you ...deceit... it'll all go down... blame me..."

It was such a rare occurrence to hear such an argument, that some of the servants had paused their work to glance at each other with concern. That such a high ranking agent would dare engage in such a confrontation was appalling. No one ever dared such a tactic - it would be his life, for sure. No one got away with questioning the commander, let alone entering into an argument. 

As the office opens, those nearby quickly resumed their tasks as to not be caught trying to listen. The slamming of the door echoes through the halls like a cannon shot, followed by Garret's deliberate footsteps. Dressed in his full black combat gear, he had not yet changed since returning from his latest assignment, and the display of more than one sidearm and other weapons was enough to make anyone steer clear of his path, if his glare alone didn't do it. One might feel his eyes could pierce through steel. 

Quickly stalking through the house and outdoors, Garret aims for the gardens as his blood boils. He was tired, hungry and in dire need of a shower. Three days and nights without sleep, food or soap and water had seen to that. And one botched mission had brought him to this point now. Or was it really the fact of a botched mission that had led up to his temper exploding? Blaming Medridge was gutsy. Yelling accusations at him was more than gutsy - it was stupid. But Garret felt as though he'd reached his limit. It had been more than a botched mission out there. It had been a failed attempt that he could speak of to no one. And making a scene about what had gone wrong was the only way to cover up the truth.

Finding a cement bench, secluded in amongst the rose bushes, he sits down, resting his elbows on his knees to put his face in his hands. He was lucky and he knew it. Anyone else would have received a death sentence for the stunt he'd just pulled. And he still might. But he doubted it. He was too important to Medridge at this point. Too valuable. Like a prized possession. 

Feeling the sting return to his shoulder, Garret lifts his face to glance at his arm where the bullet wound had started to bleed again, despite the bandanna tied around it. It was just a scratch - he'd only been grazed. But he knew he needed to go have the medic clean it out and put a proper bandage on it anyway.

Returning his face to his hands, he fights his churning emotions. Was he going mad? Was he going to be pushed until he simply lost his mind? It felt as though if he simply let go, he'd fall into the darkness of insanity. And for what? What was the point? Where was the reason in all of this?

Horizon

Giving a laugh Grace was happy to see Jared decided to take his shoes and socks off and at least try to put his feet in the sand. As she gets the little shove to the shoulder she makes it a little more dramatic than it really was going one way and than coming back the other way to bump back into Jared. 

   "I'm going to hold you to that you know."

Grace gives him a smile before looking back out at the water. It was just clear enough that on the horizon you could make out little buildings. They were small dots but you could still see them more than normal and it was strange to think there was this vast space and yet you could make them out but try to get there alone and you'd probley never make it.

   "It's the little things sometimes we take for granted like feeling the sand between our toes. Sometimes we just have to slow down and try things we have before again and this time really try to enjoy it. It's funny how the little things can bring the most joy."

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Ok...lol. I should get back to work too.
I'll talk to ya again soon.

 ....Several days later Chad was back in Nevada and seeing Rosalyn's letter made him smile a little more each time. He was happy they were not writing back and forth and reading he could hear her voice in his head. Hey voice was way to pretty to forget.

Rosalyn,

  Oh the agony of not being able to sew the buttons back on my shirt. Maybe I should just send you a box with a bunch of them in it to give you something to do? Ok ok I wouldn't do that to you really. I'd just make sure to wair those shirts if I came to see you again.

   So I have some down time now that I am back in Nevada.  No work again right away and while I love my job its nice to just sit at home without anyone around have have some peace. One thing I though of though was I hadn't answered your question about how I get my mail. Sorry about that. Before we leave for our next destination we get emails about where we will be staying and how long. So that gives us time to go to the post office and set up a forwarding address. That way we all can make sure we take care of what we need to while away. You know that whole being responsible thing.

   It does feel in a way like we have known each other for a long time. I just feel so comfortable talking to you, and I feel like I can be so open, really it is nice. It's also nice to know you don't mind about my past. It's a black mark and alone with my tattoos most people like to judge me by it before even knowing me. So it makes me feel really good that to you its not even there.

   What do our letters mean, what do our kiss mean, I'm not sure myself. I'd like to say I want to court you, get to know you even more, and form a relationship but with how my work goes I wouldn't be around much and thats a big restriction to put on a new relationship, and I'd never ask you to wait around for me like that. So for now if you'd like we can continue how we are and see how it goes. All I know is I like you a lot Rosalyn as strange as it sounds I really do. In such a short time, you've become very special to me.

   I really feel like I could keep this letting going, finding new things to write about, to tell you about. About new things I'd like to show you one day, and promises of taking you places with me. But I guess I should end this letter so you can stop reading and continue one with your day.

   I'm looking at the moon right now, and I think I saw your reflection in it. Think I'll sit on the porch a while and just enjoy the warm breeze and continue to think about you.

     Forever and Always,
         Chad

I gaze up at the sky each night
and find the brightest star.
It's always waiting there for me
so close, but yet so far.
The star winks in the evening sky
and reaches out to me.
It magically appears each night
for all the world to see.
I've wished upon this special star
my whole life through, it seems.
I've closed my eyes and made my wish
of hopes, and plans, and dreams.
And then, one day I got my wish
for I finally met you.
You are that someone special
who's made all my dreams come true.
So now whenever we're apart
I find that same bright star.
It makes me feel so close to you
no matter where you are. 

For the Record

Jared opens his eyes and props himself up on his elbows to see what on earth Grace was talking about. Seeing her with her bare feet stuck in the sand, a little wry grin emerges but he shakes his head. "It's hard enough getting my shoes on without purposely taking them off." 

What he'd really like to do was take his shoes sand socks off, take Grace's hand and walk with her the length of the beach and back... at least once. Returning to his back, he chews the inside of his bottom lip. If it was anybody else, he'd just ignore them and be fine with it. But for some reason, he just couldn't ignore Grace. 

Sighing, he sits up again without saying anything and bends to reach his feet. Not being able to move his legs very well, it was a bit difficult, but he manages until his feet are bare. Scooting to the edge of the blanket, he pulls his knees up a little and lets his toes sink into the sand. Wriggling his toes, a new faint smile creases his lips and he gives Grace a sidelong glance. "It does feel kinda funny... I don't remember ever noticing before." 

Smirking, he reaches over and gives her shoulder a shove before looking back out at the water. "I'm gonna get you back, ya know. For this whole not letting me mope thing. It's just not fair."

To: Katie

From: Hunter

Paperwork sucks. Hang in there.

I'd offer to help but... I dont like it

either. :-p 

I better start getting ready for 

supper. Gonna take me a while 

since I gotta wash off all this...

paint. lol

I'll text ya goodnight later ;)

Her age didn't matter. Chad truly wasn't bothered by it at all. Rosalyn supposed she hadn't really thought it would bother him - she deemed him intelligent enough to have guessed she was younger than he. But seeing it in his letter confirmed it. Did... this mean he really did want to keep writing her? Truly? 

Sitting cross-legged on her bed, Rosalyn's tummy does a little flip. She'd been surprised today, when Mick had again passed along a letter to her. Not as shocked as the first time, but she hadn't really been sure if Chad was going to keep writing or not. It... seemed he wanted to... right? Was she really that special? That no only would he shower her with affection while here, but that he'd also want to keep in touch over the miles? 

Continuing to read in the safety of her room, a smile spreads on her face. Even without a poem, his words were poetic. She would never want to hurt his heart either... did... did that mean they had each other's hearts? 

Looking at the pictures and reading about them, her smile only grows. 

"Rosalyn?" 

She jumps and stuffs everything under her pillow. "Yes, Mom?" she calls back. 

"I'm heading to the dining hall," Becky hollers up the stairs. 

"Yeah, okay." Rosalyn lets out her breath and retrieves the letter to scan it one more time before folding it carefully and gently returning it to its envelope. She would answer it later tonight... 

Dear Chad,

You're still a flirt... but I'm getting used to it. No, that's a lie. I don't ever want to get used to it, because I don't ever want to feel less than what I feel right now. I thought once you left, that would be it, and I would easily put you from my mind. Not so. I shouldn't admit that - it might give you a bigger head than you already have. But I guess I'm a sucker for romantic gestures and I can't pretend hearing from you again didn't put a smile on my face. No one knows why I suddenly like to hide away in my bedroom - I let them wonder. They don't need to know that I read and reread your letters or write and rewrite my responses. 

I loved the pictures - thank you so much. I feel as though I am there. It looks absolutely beautiful, and from the sounds of it, I'm sure Rocco is appreciative of your kind efforts. It would be fascinating to see you at work. I'd send you pictures of my work, but... you already know everything I do. And no - it hasn't changed since you left. Except I haven't had to sew anybody's buttons lately. Talk about a thrill I've been missing... 

I'm not completely sure what our correspondence means, but... for the record... our age difference doesn't matter to me either. I like you, and strange or not, there's a part of me that feels as though I've known you forever. Knowing you're a little older than me just doesn't make a difference. And for the record - neither does your past.

I need to close for now. It's getting late. But as I walk this letter to the mailbox, I'll pause and look up at the moon. Look at it for me too. And I'll smile. 

Rosalyn

Sealing the envelope, Rosalyn gives it a kiss before sliding off her bed and quietly padding through the house to make her way out into the dark.

Tickle

Taking a bit of her sub and chewing it Grace was enjoying her meal. There was just something about a picnic lunch she really enjoyed. Eating being outside, and just enjoying herself with nice company even if he was depressed.

   "I love food, I am surprised I am not fat by now.

Giving a laugh and taking a bite of her watermelon Grace looks out at the water letting the silence linger for a short time while they eat. Once finished with her food Grace slips her shoes off and stretched her legs out making sure her dress was flat and digging her toes into the sand. Giving a soft giggle she liked the way it felt.

   "This tickles, you should try it. It's warm yet cool, and the sad just...feel funny."

Shaking her head Katie gives a laugh at Hunter's text. Leave it to him to get in a painting battle, war, to make a mess. She did think it was funny though.

To: Hunter
From: Katie

If anyone asks I don't know...I'm not there -.-
though if you had a battle I wish I was there...
sounds fun.

Sending the message Katie lets out a sigh before going back to her work. Looking at the computer screen and than down at the paper she continues to input information from one place to another. It was a boring job but at least she gave Sapphire a break, and it was what she'd been original highered for so she couldn't bock. 

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Whoever though typing information form paper to computer
is crazy.

Just a Battle

Jared struggles just a little to pull himself up to sit in a good position to eat. After getting situated, he works on building a small sub, choosing not to put a whole lot on it. He does snitch a couple pieces of watermelon though, at least enjoying that. 

"If we need more food than what you've brought, then one of us has a problem." He roll his eyes. He knew that she - and his mother - were trying to get him to eat more lately, but it just wasn't easy when he had little to no appetite at all. 

Chewing a bite of his sub, his eyes drift back out to the water. Swimming had been one of his favorite things to do while growing up. He wondered now if he'd ever really be able to do it again. Looking down at his legs, he slowly rolls his ankles. That wasn't quite as difficult anymore - it didn't take total concentration to do it. Lifting his knees was still quite a task though. 

Sighing, he turns back to his food, nibbling on the other end of his sub. There was so much he wanted to talk about, yet he wanted to say nothing at all. He wanted so badly to laugh and smile and gain back his hope... yet he was stuck in the mire of self-doubt, worthlessness and guilt. 

Setting aside his food, he lays back down on his back again and closes his eyes. He could feel the sun and the cool breeze. He could smell the water and the faint scent of Grace's perfume. He could hear the lapping water, a few stray seagulls, and people laughing a far ways down the beach. Peace. It was all right here. He was surrounded by it. Yet he didn't feel it. 

It would be several hours before Hunter would get a chance to text Katie back...

To: Katie

From: Hunter

What? Me? Get into a war? 

He looks down at his paint splattered hands and jeans as he prepared for a shower, and he grins. 

It wasnt a war. Just... a battle. 

Hehe... At least the toolshed

is done? If anybody says 

anything, know that it wasnt

my fault. It was your cousin.

All him. His fault.

To: Katie

From: Hunter

It feels like a million days to

me too. 

Plenty

Grace can't help but smile more as she pulls a sub roll from the bag and than hands it to Jared. He might not know he, he might not think he deserved it but he did make her feel good.  It was nice to see the smile on his face, and the tiny spark in his eye. It was small but it was a start.

   "Ok ok ok...lets eat your making my head fat."

Pulling out the meat and more fixings Grace fixes her food before handing off the items to Jared so he could do the same. Setting her plate down on the blanket she pulls out two bottles of lemonade for them both. 

Taking a bite of her macaroni salad Grace can't help the murmur of please as the taste hits her tong. This is the first time she'd had it in a while and man did it taste good. She was really happy she'd picked it out to bring alone. 

   "Eat as much as you want I have plenty more at home."

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Is there such thing as to many kisses? 
I don't think thats possable. I'm 
going to hold you to it when you get 
back. Hey painting is always fun, 
just don't start a war eh? Can't wait 
till you get back. It's only been one 
day  but feels like a million.

Gorgeous

Jared gives Grace a little smirk. Was that a spark in his eye? Maybe. 

"Not like you? I don't know any sane person that wouldn't like you." His eyes glance over the food she was taking out of the basket, and he had to admit it did look good. Especially the watermelon. He'd discovered that was his favorite fruit. 

"You're smart... funny... kind... determined...gorgeous..." He shrugs. "I mean really... not even a guy as miserable as me could ignore you for too long." 

Reading Katie's text as he leans on the pasture fence, Hunter felt a strange pang - it was way down deep, but it was there. He wasn't surprised Katie's encounter with Jason had been strange, but there was just... something... something in her words. He knew he couldn't read tone into a text message, but still, it just felt like she was disappointed or sad Jason was dating someone else. 

Shaking his head, Hunter lets it go. 

To: Katie

From: Hunter

Of course you got me. And Im not

odd at all, ya know... hehe. Its only

been one day and Im itching to

come back. Ugh. Thinking about

helping Dylan paint the toolshed so

I dont go stir crazy. U might be 

glad ur not here. I might attack u

with too many kisses to handle. I

already feel deprived. Better watch

it when I DO come home...

Like me

   "Why wallow when there is to much life to live? It's kinda grouped up with going fast and not being able to smell the roses."

Looking up at the sky again and closing her eyes as the sun shines down Grace thinks for a long moment about Jared's words. Maybe he was right, maybe she did soak up the sun and than share it with everything. He was the only one that had ever told her though and it...was nice to hear it.

Sitting up again and reaching out to the basket Grace pulls out some containers that held a few different things. She'd packed fixing for subs, watermelon, and some macaroni salad. They were light picnic items but mouth watering enough that if Jared said he wasn't hungry just making him look at it would change his mind.

   "And no you can't be miserable while I am around or I might think you really don't like me."

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Something tells me when you leave UNO is going to be pretty sad.
*rolls eyes* Leave it to Clint to want to ride your bike. He's slightly
accident prone to watch it.
Hey like really like you if they asked you over again. You should go 
and I will try not to be jealous.

...send...

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Things are a little crazy here. Trying to get back into everything that
happened while I was gone.
Ran into Jason this morning and it was WAY beyond strange. Found
out he's dating one of my good friends who works here so thats slightly
odd but hey I got you so its all good right?

Sunshine

Listening quietly, Jared takes in Grace's words. To an average observer, it might appear as though he didn't care. In reality though, what Grace said seemed to travel straight to his heart. 

Turning onto his side, he props his upper body up on his elbow and gives her a bit of a wry grin. "You just won't let me be miserable, will you?" 

He shakes his head. "You soak up the sunshine then spread it all around, chasing the shadows away. I'd rather sit here and wallow, ya know, but you're not making it very easy." 

To: Katie

From: Hunter

U kidding? I got more eyes on me

than a two-headed spider. I couldnt

do anything I shouldnt if I wanted

to. ;) Naw Im ok. UNO is following 

me around, Clint wants to try out

my bike, and Mick said I could go

to his and Rosettas for supper 

again. Think I might.

Blame

Sitting with Jared Grace listens to him. She wasn't a councler and she couldn't pretend to be, so when he asked a question like he did it was hard to know how to answer it. All she could really do was make an honest effort on what she though of the whole thing.

   "I think that sounds like two boys who both didn't know when to quit. You pushed, but Justin pushed too. He could of stopped, he didn't have to keep swimming after you so it was his own fault for pushing forward as it was yours."

Putting her arms behind her and leaning back on them Grace looks up at the sky. There weren't many clouds out today but the little strands here and there still provided something to look at and help Grace gather her thoughts.

   "You can't keep blaming yourself for everything you know. Bad chooses were mad, and you should have known better but we all make them, and than we learn from them. Continuing to punish yourself is not necessary no matter how much we think it is."

Looking over at Jared and studying him for a few moments a small smile spreads across her face. She really did enjoy spending free time with Jared. Even if he was depressed right now she thought he was pretty fun.

   "And you have people who are willing to love and forgive you as well, and they already have even if you don't think you deserve it."

To: Hunter
From: Katie

Hey Hey!
So far so good. Trying to just get back into the grove of things. 
Feeling kinda odd being back but...ah well.
I miss you too :(
How are you feeling? Your knee ok? Is everyone helping you
with me not being there?

What kind?

Jared remains pretty quiet on the way to the lake - joining in conversation only when Grace would lead the topic. For most of the ride, he stares dimly out at the scenery, his head resting against the window.

Once reaching their destination, he does his best to get back out of the car and into the wheelchair again. Just the simple tasks seemed to sap all of his energy, leaving him exhausted. He knew his strength had taken a step back... which just made him feel even more down.

A short ways into the sand, about as far as they could go with his chair, he glances around, contemplating Grace's offer. Did he even want to get out of the wheelchair at all? Eventually, he nods. "Yeah, okay. I don't think I can do it on my own unless I just wanna fall face-first." 

Letting Grace help him, he manages to at least put some weight on his legs a little bit so she doesn't have to do all of the work. Finally getting seated on the blanket, he stares down at his useless legs for several moments. He'd picked a pair of comfy jeans today... but what was the point, when he couldn't do anything anyway?

His eyes drift out to the quietly lapping water. "I used to swim in this lake," he comments softly. "Justin and I used to see who could swim the farthest." He squints at the low rippling waves. "I couldn't let him win so I just kept going. Justin almost drowned - Dad had to swim out to us and help him back in. Thing was... I knew I could swim better than he could. I knew he couldn't beat me... but I pushed it anyway and almost got him killed." 

His gaze glances to Grace. "What kind of ten-year-old does that?" 

Sighing, he eases down to lie on his back and stare up at the sky instead. 

To: Katie

From: Hunter

Hey Babe. 

Hope ur first day at work is ok.

Miss u already.

Trying

Letting out a small breath and looking at Jason again Katie found it hard but she wanted to know how he was doing. He looked well, a lot better than when she'd left. He wasn't so pale and thin anymore now that he was healthy. Not having there connection has caused a lot of havoc mostly on her part but if face with the choose again she would do the same thing. Knowing he was alive, and ok...that was joy she had left even if she never said it.

   "Umm...yeah ok I'll go talk with Sapphire and than get back with you. Thanks Reese."

Turning to head out of the office Katie eyes passed over Jason's for a second catching tight of the tension in them. It sent a sting right to her heart that hurt more than she really had expected. Continuing out the door and closing it softly behind her Katie lets out her breath now. The air had been thick and hot in there, stepping out here again was a cool breeze.

Getting out onto the main floor again Katie makes her way to Sapphire's desk taking the longer rout from the office. Passing the intermarry door Katie backtracks and stops a little bit looking in and seeing Misty. Another part of her heart ached, for Carson, for what Misty though of him, and the sting of knowing she was dating Jason. She wasn't upset or angry with Misty she hadn't dont anything wrong, if she was upset with anyone it was herself and her actions.

Giving a knock on the door and poking her head in Katie lets out another sigh quick. She was going to do her best to be civil with everyone and Misty had been one of her good friends. She had to try and continue that.

   "Hey Misty I wont hold you up I just wanted to say hi, and congrats."

   "Thanks Katie, It's good to see you back."

Misty was unsure of what else to say the whole thing was kinda of awkward for the first day of it. Maybe in time it would get better. She was happy though that it seemed like Katie was trying to at least be friendly.

Seeing Rick on the other side of the room Katie gives a wave before disappearing once again and continuing her rout to Sapphire's desk. The quicker she threw herself into work the quicker time would pass and hopefully things would become much more easy.

Grace gives a smile as her cheek turn a little red. This morning had been a little rough for her but she was feeling slightly better now and having Jared tell her she looked nice helped. Giving a laugh at his comment of her driving she walks to behind his chair and starts it forward.

   "I can't promise you I am a better driver. I've been known to leave a few marks myself but...thats another story."

Starting forward Grace takes Jared past the kitchen to let Lydia know they were leaving and would be back soon. Grace giving a joking promise that she would have him home before ten. Heading out of the house now and getting situated it doesn't take long to get into the car, and than head to the beach. It was a little bit longer of a drive but not to horrible bad as Grace tried to keep the chatting light till they got to the destination.

Finally there Grace was helping Jared from the car once again and gathering there things together. Taking the wheelchair and pushing it out on to the sand it helped that a few days ago it had rained so the sand was packed down nicely making it a little easier but not to hard to sit or wet. Putting the blanket out and turning to Jared again she smiles.

   "Alright, want me to help you down on the blanket?"

Assignments

Jared's eyebrows rise slightly, as do the very corners of his mouth. He'd cleaned himself up, but he didn't think it was deserving of a "holy moly." 

"You're not looking too bad yourself," he muses. He thinks for a moment then shakes his head. "I guess I'm ready whenever you are." He looks down to check himself over to make sure. He was dressed, he had his tennis shoes on... there wasn't anything else he needed. Just gumption. And he only had a little bit of that, but it would have to do. 

He tucks his hands in his lap. "I'll let you drive though... I keep making marks on the walls from banging into things." 

"...No, I need you and Con to take that Parker case, then..." Reese's voice trails off as he looks up from his desk to see Katie enter his office. The air was thick with tension - the morning had already started off poorly. He forces a smile though. "Well hi, Katie. Welcome back." 

Standing to the side, Jason can feel his whole body tense. He tries not to let it show on his face though, remaining where he was. Giving Katie a once-over, he notes that though she seemed nervous, she looked good - better than when she'd left. He swallows the bitter taste in his mouth and purses his lips into something maybe close to a polite smile. "Katie." He acknowledges her presence with a slight nod. 

After an awkward pause, Reese clears his throat. "No need to be sorry for the interruption. You're fine. I would suggest you go talk with Sapphire to start out - she's been taking on a lot of your work lately and she can bring you up to speed. Once you feel you've got a handle on what's been going on and what's happening now, come see me again and I'll give you some new assignments."

Holy Moly

Grace gives another smile at Lydia, She wanted her to come and get out of the house but she was kind of happy to it was going to be just Jared and herself as well. He might be a little more open with her if it was that way. She just hoped getting outside would help brighten him up a little bit.

   "Alright, maybe next time you can come with us."

Giving another smile and turning around Grace heads out of the kitchen leaving Lydia to her cooking and going down the hall to find Jared. Knocking on the door and opening it Grace see Jared and she can't help but let her smile grow a little more. He looked really good this afternoon, even a little glow to his face too.

   "Holy moly, I hardly new it was you. You are lookin gooood this afternoon."

Coming over to him and leaning down to give him a hug. Pulling away her eye twinkled as she looked down at him. She was excited for today and new it was going to be a good one, she could just feel it was.

   "Need anything before we go?"

Looking up at Jason and returning the kiss Misty loved the new daily normal of seeing Jason in the morning, getting a kiss and just talking for a little bit. Most morning it happened like that and than some mornings it was a little less.

   "Morning..."

Today was going to be one of those mornings. Not even getting a chance to say more Misty's head turned this was and that following everyone who was talking. All she can do is chuckle as the whole thing continues and Jason gets pulled to one place and than the next.

   "Alright, I'll see you for lunch Hun. Don't work to hard."

Stepping onto the main floor of TJY Katie felt slightly strange being back here. Why she wasn't sure but could only guess it was from being away for so long. She'd jump right back in though and face thing whole thing head on. Carson was right, she could over come anything and this was just another step. 

Walking to her cubicle she catches sight of Jason heading into Reese office turning around quickly maybe he hadn't seen her...not yet. Dang....now that she turned around she didn't know if he did go to Reese's office or his own. Oh well no matter what she needed to go to his office to see what he wanted her to start on and if she ran into Jason well she'd have to sooner or later.

Sucking in a breath of confadince she drops her stuff at the cubicle before holding her head high and heading for Reese office. Giving a little wave to Susanna it was good to see she again and she smiles. Knocking on Reese door she enters.

   "Hey Reese, I'm back and just wanted to know where you wanted me to start..."

Seeing Jason to the one side Katie could feel the awkwardness grow inside of her. She hadn't mean to interrupt them and now she almost felt at a loss for words. She had to say something though and not just stand there.

   "Hi. Sorry to interrupt you guys. I can come back in a little bit if its a better time."

Poor Match

"Grace! Hello, dear." Lydia smiles as she stirs some batter in a mixing bowl. Today was cookies - a new family had come to church and they had very little. Someone else was taking care of main meals, so Lydia had offered to take care of treats, especially for the children. 

"Oh yes, Jared did mention you would be going to the lake today. It is such a fine day for it too. He could use the sunshine." She smiles at Grace before shaking her head and leaning in closer. "I think it will be better for him if it was just the two of you. Besides, I will stay plenty busy with my cooking today." 

She looks down at her bowl and laughs. "I think I am making more cookies in this batch than I thought." 

In his room, Jared waits quietly. He'd seen Grace pull up and had watched her come up the sidewalk. He could just hear her muffled voice, along with his mother's now, knowing that they  were in the kitchen. 

Looking down at himself, he sighs. Grace was so pretty today in her sundress with her hair falling over her shoulders and a spring in her step. He made a poor match for going out today.

Another small smile surfaces and Carson nods. "Good. I'll keep the oven warm for ya." He'd gladly have Katie back any time. Just having one of his friends in here was like a breath of fresh air... and he could use that right now. 

Once he's left alone again, he starts shutting things down for the night. He was so tired, but he knew he had much more to do before he could go to bed. Much more. 

"Good morning, sunshine." Jason leans over Misty's shoulder in the infirmary the next morning, planting a kiss on her lips. He was in a hurry, but, as was his new habit, he had to stop in and see her. "You're looking good this morning. I-"

"Hey, hotshot," Pete pokes his head into the room. "Reese is looking for you."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." 

"Jase?" Gunner joins Pete at the door. "You got those files I asked about yesterday?"

"Crap. Yeah, give me five, I'll-"

"Jason," Reese's voice comes over the intercom. "In my office, please." 

Jason rolls his eyes and straightens, throwing up his hands. "I just got here, people!" 

Gunner and Pete hide their snickers as they leave, and Jason looks back at Misty as he heads for the door. "Guess I'll see you later for lunch." Walking at a brisk pace down the hall, he heads for Reese's office, trying to remember all he was supposed to do this morning. 

Picnic

Pulling up to Jared's place at noon like she had mentioned Grace was extra happy to be here today. Knowing Jared had willingly said he would come with her today made her happy. It was really important to her that Jared get out, he get his spirit back and fight to get his life back.

Getting out of the car and heading to the door Grace gives a knock. Hearing Lydia's voice she opens the door and enters. Making her way to the kitchen first Grace gives a little wave seeing her at the counter. It was funny how every time Grace was over she was always cooking something. She could only conclude that Lydia loved to cook and as far as she could tell all her good was good.

   "Good Afternoon Lydia! Something sure smells good."

Smiling and moving into the kitchen farther she leans on the counter. Today she had another sundress on and some flats on. Summer was coming to an end she needed to enjoy this weather while she could.

   "Would you like to join Jared and I today? We are going to head to the beach and have a picnic I think."

Having Carson box up her pizza Katie was thankful and even more so when he refused to let her pay. She'd leave him a tip for sure because she wasn't leaving without at least giving something. She understood it took money to run a place and giving away free stuff wasn't the way to do it.

   "Thanks."

Hearing his words of encouragement to her about starting her day tomorrow Katie really thankful for them and the extra little confidence really did make her feel good. He had confidence in her and it just... it made her feel good to hear someone else say it.

   "And thanks Carson. Just hearing someone else say it really helps. I'll be back soon ok? Thanks for the food."

Comfy Jeans

"Okay." Jared would kind of prefer it just be him and Grace at the beach, but he wouldn't begrudge his mother going along - she deserved to get out too, especially being cooped up in the house all the time, and half of that to take care of him. He would go whether it was all three of them or not. 

At the mention of food, he shakes his head slowly. "I'm... really not hungry." In reality, his stomach did want food, but he just didn't feel like eating. His mother was a great cook, but nothing seemed to taste good. It was as if his tastebuds had taken a vacation right along with his confidence and happiness. Not even ice cream sounded good.

"Thanks though." His hand slides over to rest against Grace's. Even if he couldn't smile, he did appreciate her efforts. Maybe tomorrow the sunshine really would do him good...

...When the next day did roll around, Jared wasn't sure what time Grace was going to come, but he makes the biggest effort he could in the morning to get himself cleaned up and showered. He found a faded pair of blue jeans - they were the most worn ones in his wardrobe - a pair that he'd wanted to get rid of before, but now were deemed the most comfortable, along with an old but clean and hole-less t-shirt. 

Sitting in his wheelchair, he could just see the mirror at the bathroom sink and he sighs. Showered and dressed in clean clothes, he still didn't look very good. Why did Grace even keep trying? Maybe he'd never figure out that one. 

Even if he wasn't worth his own efforts though, she was, and for the first time in weeks, he wanted to at least look halfway presentable. Retrieving his shaving cream and razor, he sets to work at ridding his face of what had become quite a thick layer of scruff. Once that was done, he runs a comb through his hair but ends up leaving it just a little messy. He used to be quite picky about his hairstyle... not anymore though. He loathed where his vanity had gotten him.

Returning to his room, he wheels himself to the window. It didn't take very much time of watching though, before he'd leaned his head to the wall and had dozed off. 

Seeing Katie ready to go but not having finished the pizza, Carson automatically gets her a small box. He wasn't going to let her pay for anything either - it was the first time in almost two months that he'd had a friend show up here and it was worth any expense. 

Her question brings his elbows to lean on the counter as he sighs. "I don't know, Katie... My life's been messed up since I was a kid. I've just had a few reprieves in between." 

He picks at a chip in his thumbnail. "As far as tomorrow goes..." He knew she was right. It was going to feel strange for her. Not just trying to get back into the swing of work, but having her ex-boyfriend right there. And not only that, but him dating one of her good friends. who was also right there. 

Looking at her, he offers the best smile he can. "...Well... I guess I don't have much to say about that. But one thing I do know is that you'll rise above it all, just like you always do. You have more strength than most people I know, and I haven't got an ounce of doubt that you'll be able to conquer whatever you want." 

Strange

Hearing Jared accept her invitation Grace was very happy. Maybe there was a part of Jared that was trying to be happy to work on things but it was just so hard for him. That she understood, not remembering something and than remembering everything that was bad it had to be hard.

   "Ok good, I'll be here around noon tomorrow. If you want your mom to come too she can and if not that thats ok."

Continuing to work on Jared's for a few more minutes before standing and letting out a small sigh. Getting the heating pad and ice putting them on Jared's legs. Sitting down next to him Grace gives a smile. Seeing hardly any of his food was touched she wondered if he really wasn't hungry or if he thought he didn't deserve to.

   "You didn't eat much for lunch...Want me to see about getting you something else? Maybe ice cream or something? Need to keep your strength up."

Katie gives a smile and a nod to Carson. She could see the worry in his eyes and new it was real. She felt so very bad for him that would could not describe it to even the littlest T. If she could she would tell Misty to wait for Carson to not give up, and that things are not always as they seem.

   "I'll make sure she's ok Carson. Just....becarful ok?"

Looking down at the rest of her pizza Katie new she wasn't going to be able to eat anymore. She new Carson would have to get going soon so the rest she might as well box up. Though she really didn't want to leave yet. She was worried about Carson, she was worried about tomorrow at work everything was going ok but there was still a bit of worry there.

   "Tomorrow is going to feel strange. I know it already. When did life get so messed up for us...huh?"

  "Chad, you have some mail."
   
   "When don't I have mail? Most of it's just bills anyways."
 
Opening the hotel door Chad reaches out and takes the pile of mail from Tina. Giving her a smile and a nod he thanks her before closing the door again. This time around he and Mark were sharing a room but right now it was just him. He'd finished with his work early today and now just had a little time to himself.

Setting the mail down on the table Chad goes back to the bathroom and finishes drying off his hair before putting a clean shirt on, and slipping in his sandals. Coming back around and sitting down at the table he flips through the bills one letting stops him. Seeing the return address he can't help but smile. Rosalyn had gotten his letter and now he had a reply. He'd haden't even opened the letter yet and Chad could feel his head skip.

Opening the letter and letting his eyes scan the words Chad's smile grows even more. His hands trembled just a little as he was ready Rosalyn's sweet words. She talked about how his words warmed her and made her feel so good, and he new what she meant because her words did the same to him. His heart fluttered and beat fast, his stomach did flip and he felt loved, wanted, and all around good.

Not being able to help himself Chad reads the letter again before standing and taking it to his suitcase. Slipping it inside he would keep it safe there till he could write again. At the moment he needed to get some lunch and run around a few places, but one thing he hadn't planned was bring his camera but now he was.

...A few days pass...

Sitting down at the table Chad lets out a tired sigh. Today had been a work out but now he'd gotten his pictures back and he had a little time to write a letter back to Rosalyn. Pulling out her letter he reads it once more again and smiles.

Rosalyn,
   
   I couldn't help but read your letter over and over again. Your words really touched my heart and gave my heart a jump. Each time I would read you letter it would put an even bigger smile on my face. The words never got boring, I never got tired of reading the same thing over and over again because they were your words, your thoughts, they were you.

   Florida is an amazing place, and I am still here. I will be for at least another day. Sometimes our stay is long, and sometimes they are short. Sometimes the others finish with there work before I do, and sometimes its the other way around. None of use mind though because it gives us some free time between jobs to just relax. Than again though I feel like my job is relaxing and to me it doesn't even feel like a job, but when you like something as much as I do I would guess thats normal. 

   Ah, you're twenty-five years old. I new you were younger than me but I wasn't sure by how much.  Twenty-five is a good number, I think in fact its a great number and it doesn't bother me any if it doesn't bother you. I've always thought age is just a number and really it means nothing more. Why do we put a number on someone? Does it mean something other than how long we have been living? No, your age does not bother me one bit.

   Yes Rosalyn I would like to keep writing to you, and I would like to keep sending you poems. You're the bright spot in each day when I think about you. Thinking about something you said, or remembering your smiles, your eyes or the way your hands felt on my chest it makes me smile, grin and everyone wants to know whats going on. I simply shake my head at them and walk away. 

   Your heart I will hold, for it is something I will not break as long as you do the same with mine. 

        Forever and Always,
              Chad

P.S. I put some pictures in here as well to just share a little bit of my life with you. I hope you enjoy them. 

In the envelope with the letter there were a few pictures along with a little note on the back of each of them describing that they were.


 Photo 1: A dolphin poking its head of of the water.

This is Rocco, I was telling her about you and she wanted to say hi. 
She was beached a few weeks back and became very ill due to lack of water, and her skin had become dried and cracked. After helping her back into the water we formed a cage right into the ocean for her to heal in. Finally tomorrow she gets to be set free and go home.  

Photo 2: Palm trees in front of the ocean on the beach. The sky is dusk and the moon it dotted in the background.

Looking out my window this is the view. Off to the left is the area we made for Rocco so I can keep an eye on her through out the day. She had to have someone keep on eye on her so I figured I was best for the job since I was right there. I've never had a better view except when I was been looking at you.

I ask

Jared fiddles with a loose thread on his shirt, contemplating Grace's offer. "I haven't been to the lake since I was a kid," he admits quietly. He did have some good family memories there. They were kind of foggy, but most of them had fairly good feelings attached to them. It seemed to be a rarity to remember something now that didn't feel negative. 

Glancing up, he studies Grace's face as she works on his legs. He knew she was trying to cheer him up, and he wanted to be cheered up. He just... couldn't seem to pull himself out of this pit. There was too much bad. Too much regret. Too much pain. 

"I'll go," he finally accepts.

A small but genuine smiles creases Carson's lips and he shakes his head. "If I told you that, I'd have to kill you..." He quirks an eyebrow coyly before turning to put away some glasses. 

He eventually goes back into the kitchen to clean up some things - he didn't think he'd be getting any more orders in tonight. After he was closed up, he'd go to the apartment for a little while before heading in to TJY and using their computers again. That would give him a couple hours sleep... which is what he got most nights now. 

Coming back out to the counter to check on Katie, he watches her for a moment, many thoughts going through his mind. "Hey, um..." He purses his lips in thought. He probably shouldn't say any more, but she was the only one he trusted right now. 

"When... when you see Misty again... would you just.." He shrugs. "Make sure she's doing okay? I know she's got Jason and all, I just... I worry about her."

Mick whistles a soft tune through his teeth as he ambles back down the driveway after having just retrieved the mail. He sifts through the handful of envelopes, sorting them between his fingers. Bill... bill.... junk... Eric... Becky... Jim... bill... Angel... junk... junk... Rosalyn...

He didn't usually pay much attention to what other people got in the mail - it wasn't any of his business. But for some reason, his eyes glance to the return address. Chad Mason. He stops walking for a moment to reread the name. Yes, it was Chad alright, with the return address in Nevada.

Thinking for a moment, Mick resumes his walk, tucking the envelope address-down in his back pocket. He usually just put the mail out in trays at the office and everybody was responsible for picking it up themselves. But this time... he had a feeling Rosalyn might not even check to see if she had any mail - it was rare she got anything other than magazines once in a while, and... Mick wasn't so sure having other people see the letter would be a good idea. 

It had become general knowledge - at least to Jim's brothers - what had transpired between Rosalyn and Chad, and how Jim felt about it. The last thing Mick wanted was to have Rosalyn bawled out for something that might mean nothing at all. It wasn't that he necessarily disagreed with his brother... he just... perhaps would handle things a little differently. 

It wasn't until a while later in the barn when he caught Rosalyn grooming one of the horses, and she was alone. "Hey, Rosalyn." 

She turns and smiles. "Hi, Mick." 

"Got something for ya." Mick approaches and retrieves the letter from his pocket, handing it to her. 

A little confused, Rosalyn takes it from him and turns it over, scanning the address. As she looks at whom it was from, her heart skips a beat. Looking up quickly, she catches Mick's eyes, almost afraid. 

Mick shakes his head and gives her a gentle smile. "I thought you might want that hand-delivered away from the circus." 

She swallows hard, feeling her cheeks turn a little warm. "Thank you." 

He nods and turns, leaving her be. 

Looking back down at the letter, Rosalyn studies the handwriting for a long moment. Chad? Chad had written to her? Why? Was it just something formal after his stay here? Was it something specifically for her? Was it an actual letter or something else? 

Since Chad had left, she had missed him a whole lot more than she thought she would. It seemed no matter what she did, her mind was always returning to him. She'd kept it all to herself though, not wanting to upset her father or get another talking to. She knew her feelings would pass eventually. But now...

Hearing someone else enter the barn, she quickly folds the envelope and hides it in her jeans pocket. She'd read it later....

...Though it felt as if she'd never get a moment alone, she finally had a break. Flopping down on her stomach on her bed, she carefully slits open the envelope and pulls out the pages. Seeing his handwriting, her pulse picks up. It really was a letter... specifically to her.

Reading his words, she could almost hear his voice. He wrote just like he spoke. So sweet. Gentle. She imagined the ocean and seeing it with him. Imagined the brightness of the moon and gazing upon it just like he would be. Imagined being held in his strong arms. Never had she ever received a letter so romantic... so warm. 

Gazing down the second page, a lump rises in her throat until on the last line, a small tear trickles down her cheek. Surely Chad didn't mean all these things, did he? Was he really truly pursuing her even from a distance? Had his visit here - with her - really meant so much that he would make the effort to correspond with her? Was it really true? 

It wouldn't be until that night when she would find time to write her own letter. Sitting by her window, she looks out at the night sky, finding the moon and smiling. Her little lamp offered just enough light to write by. 

Dear Chad,

You sir, are a flirt... 

She grins, knowing he would remember her saying that to him more than once. 

Your letter came as such a sweet surprise. I very much expected never to hear from you again when you left here. It makes me feel as though I am still asleep in a dream, wondering if I shall forever be asleep, or if I will one day awake, searching for that which now is lost. 

I sit at my window, writing by the light of the moon, which I trust your eyes are gazing upon as well. I don't know when you will get this - if you are still in Florida or not. I've never been there, but I can imagine the ocean so vast and powerful. It must truly be an awesome sight - you are fortunate to be able to spend so much time with the beautiful water. 

As I read your lovely poetry, I found myself hearing your voice. You make me feel so good - you really have no idea. Your poetic skills are quite flattering, and I will keep this poem always, to remember. 

I must ask you - for I do not know you well enough to tell - are you compelled to continue writing to me? I ask because I was shocked. I ask because I wonder if you realize I am eleven years your junior. I ask because I wonder if I should eagerly await more poetry or if this shall be the last, that I will cherish forever, as I do my memories of you. 

Tell me, and be truthful of your intentions, for my heart truly is touched by no one else, and it is but the most fragile part of me.

Rosalyn