10/16/12

Change

   "Conrad Gibbs that is not true and you darn well know it. This is the FIRST time you have messed up and your taking all the blame for it when you know darn well its not. So knock off the poor me crap and get your head out of your butt. If Reese had thought this was your fault than he would of let you go himself."

Letting out a huff and looking  away for a second she could feel some hot tears form in her eyes. Even if Con and herself didn't talk as much as they use to just looking over her cubicle and seeing him sitting a little ways away was enough for her. To think of him leaving...it really did hurt specialy when he didn't have too.

   "If your going to leave Con I can respect that, and I will wish you the best but don't use a reason that is not true. The Elite is not better off without you and neither am I or your friends."

Feeling Alec's hand on the side of her face once again Ryan can see something different in him. Maybe it was the light touch, or the look in his eyes that was softer than what she had seen before. Whatever it was Ryan couldn't help the chill that went down her spin. 

As Alec closes the gap and presses his lips to her Ryan was a bit shocked but couldn't help but return the kiss. It wasn't long, but it had been along enough to shoot electric through her like it had in the past. In that one moment she remembered why she had fallen in love with Alec in the first place, and still there was so much more of him to explore.

Watching Alec as he starts to walk away Ryan's eyes follow him. What was she to do now? Was it this easy really, and this hard at the same time. She new what was true, what she didn't want to be, and what Eli didn't want to be either.

   "Alec...."

Ryan takes a few steps forward before stopping and just looking at Alec for a long moment. A smile spreading across her face. Giving a little half wave she didn't know where this or anything was heading other than forward.

   "...You've changed. Keep it up, and I look forward to seeing you again soon."


Oops?

Con's shoulders drop even more at Katie's reaction. He hated seeing her upset. Even worse, he felt stuck with no way to fix things this time. 

"I do have to," he replies calmly. "I can't stay here and keep messing up. I tried it. I can't go in the field anymore - I can't hear well enough, obviously. And I can't just sit behind a desk the whole time. I thought I could... I was wrong." 

He tries to give Katie a reassuring smile. "I've done my time... the Elite is better off without me in the way." 


Wait so... Eli was wrong? Or he was right, but it didn't matter? Alec wasn't sure now what to think. Ryan really had been upset, but she didn't want him never to speak to her again? So why had Eli jumped down his throat? Was Alec's assumption wrong that Ryan knew about it? Did she not know her brother had threatened him? 

With so many questions, Alec desperately searches Ryan's eyes for answers. But all it did was lead to more questions. Why was there so much conflict there? Why couldn't he figure out what was going through her mind? He'd been so good at reading her before, but now, it was as if her gaze was speaking a different language. 

As she speaks again though, Alec's thoughts are shattered. His eyes widen slightly. She...still loved him? Like he still loved her? Hope soared, just to come crashing down again, all within a split second. She loved him but... hated him for it. Such sweet words had ended with such a painful sting.

Alec's eyes fall to the ground once more. He didn't know what to say now. He wanted to hope so much that Ryan would somehow be able to set aside the hate so she could love and only love him again. He wanted that so badly that it hurt. Yet he could see that she didn't want to love him. She didn't want to go back. She didn't want him back. She would deny herself the love because of what he'd done. Because of how he'd hurt her. And again, Alec's regret comes in like a tidal wave.

It felt like he'd stared at the ground for an eternity, but really it had only been a couple moments. Lifting his gaze again, this time, his eyes held a glistening stare. It was sheer pain that his gaze bore. "I'm so sorry," he whispers. He'd said it over and over and still, it didn't seem enough. 

Reaching out a hand, he softly cradles the side of Ryan's face, letting his thumb caress her cheek. "If I could take away your love so you would have no more pain, I would. Even if I knew that would mean forever living without you, I'd do it, if it would also remove your hate." 

Too emotionally charged to use wisdom, Alec closes the gap between them as his other hand rises to cradle Ryan's face. Not allowing time for her to pull away, his lips come to hers in a kiss full of passion yet given with tender care. 

And just as quickly, he had released her, turned, and started back towards his motorcycle.